I’m new to this, yet I’m not. I’m a teacher so I’m used to writing. I’ve been writing most of my life. I mostly write and then eventually throw my writing away, except the journals on my travels. I also started journalling when Barrie passed away. It was a recommendation from the Hope for Widows group.
I have to say it was something I took up without hesitation or trepidation. It was soothing, but at the same time many days, I had to write over what I had written because my tears had washed out the ink!
I met Barrie in 2007. I was his third wife, and he was my second husband. We met online. I was looking for native English speakers who wouldn’t mind sharing some of their time online speaking to a group of Spanish teachers of English who were doing a professional development course. I was part of the team designing and creating that course.
I saw a picture of a handsome middle-aged man who was offering English support for learners. I thought he seemed to fit the profile I was looking for -not to mention that he was attractive, too!
We had been emailing back and forth for a few weeks when Barrie suggested we meet on Skype. I’d only just started using it with the team for the online English course.
I can’t describe what we felt when we saw each other for the first time. We had told each other about our lives, so when he appeared on the screen, it was, wow! He’s real! He said he had the same feeling. He also said that he knew I was the love of his life and his soulmate the minute he saw me! As a matter of fact, less than a month later, he said I was going to marry him. I brushed him off, thinking to myself, no way, been there done that.
In the end, he was right; I married him a year later. We were soulmates, so like many of you, when he left me, I was (am) devastated.
But when did I really start to grieve? I think the day the doctor came into the hospital room and told us Barrie had lung cancer.
About Carmen Medina
Carmen is a 65-year-old widow who is living in Spain. She was born in Vancouver, B.C., Canada to Spanish parents. Since 2019 she has been living in Antequera in the south of Spain. She was married to Barrie Eggington, her soul mate and love of her life till he passed away on December 23rd, 2023, after a long battle with lung cancer.
Thanks to Hope for Widows, which she found online just a few weeks after his passing, Carmen found a group who not only understood what she was going through when few others did, but also solace in her sisters in grief, a place where she could express her feelings and find the resonance she needed.
Carmen has been an English teacher and teacher trainer for over 30 years in Europe, the Middle East and North America. She still teaches English and is the principal at the government funded language school where she is currently working. She spends her time with her daughter and grandchildren. She goes to the gym every day, loves the beach, particularly Torremolinos where she reminisces about the time she spent there with her late husband.