As I was dealing with all the “fall out” of my husband’s death, I found myself at the bottom of the list. The list of things to take care of always came before I cared for myself. I did not even realize most of the time that it was happening. After all, for a while, I was just trying to get through most days.
One day I was listening to a podcast called, “The Widowed Mom Podcast”, that I found to be very helpful. She, like me, is a widow and a mom. She went into life coaching to help other widow moms like me navigate their grief. I was in therapy and it definitely was helpful, but I was still struggling. Something she said in the podcast about being able to love life again made me realize I was not. I was just existing most days. As hard as I was trying and crawling through my dark tunnel, I wanted to love life again. It was time to do something.
I filled out the form for information on life coaching. Krista gave me a call and explained what it would be and for how long. Although I struggled with deciding, can I do this? Do I have time for this? I decided to take a leap of faith and do this for me. It turned out it was one of the best decisions I had ever made. Life coaching showed me how to change my thinking which was life altering. As much as therapy had done for me, I felt like this took it one step further and between the two gave me my life back.
I realized how important it was to not only show up for my kids, job, family or friends, but even more important to show up for me! I am no good to anyone if my tank is empty. It is like when you get on an airplane and when that flight attendant explains that if you need to put on an oxygen mask put yours on first before assisting others. I was a healthier and more present person for my kids and everyone else when I took time to pour into myself. It makes me a better mom, employee, sister or friend.
Pouring into yourself looks different for everyone. Maybe it is taking a walk, reading daily devotions, getting a pedicure, a massage or meeting a friend for coffee. Take time to figure out what fills you up. Take the time to work on you and figure out what kind of life you want. It was worth all the hard work, and I am still working at it, to find that I can be happy in life again.
[…] Protect your peace. Don’t let the people that never showed up in your grief show up after the worst parts of your life, expecting everything to be the way it was before. It clearly wasn’t healthy before and things are different now. Grief makes you different. It opens your eyes in ways you could never see before. It makes things real. Life isn’t the way it was before loss, it will never be the same. I will never be the same. […]