I will never forget the night Jared died. The night I held him in my arms as he took his last breath. The night my world changed. Going to bed that night hugging Jared’s pillow. My heart shattered in a ...
Guilt is a widow’s best friend. Every window I know has felt guilty about something along their journey. Things they could control, things they couldn’t control, things that were in no way their responsibility. Yet every widow I know has ...
“It’s all his fault.” That is a phrase I have often uttered in my house since my late husband died. Something breaks, it’s Jared’s fault because he’s not here to fix it. If something goes wrong, it’s Jared’s fault ...
Someone recently made a comment to me about “still doing the widow thing.” This person said your remarried, so you’re not a widow anymore. I tried to nicely say that even though I am Jon’s wife, I will always be ...
One thing I can definitely say about my life, is that it did not go as planned. Almost 19 years ago I stood in the church and said I do to my husband. Vowed to love him until death ...
I am a widow. I never wanted to be a young widow. I never wanted to bury my 37-year-old husband. When Jared first died, I loathed the word widow. It made my skin crawl. I did not want to be ...
So much has changed since Jared died. I often find myself thinking, if he hadn’t died things would be so different. I wouldn’t have so much fear. I wouldn’t have so much anxiety. I wouldn’t have PTSD from holding ...
Being a widowed mom is one of the hardest things I have ever done. No one prepares you to be a solo parent. There’s no one coming to take your child so you can have a break. No one to ...
New Year’s 2013 my little family of 3 rang in the New Year together in Virginia. It was FREEZING (especially for us Floridians) but we enjoyed the local celebration and exploring the town of Williamsburg. As always, Jared and I ...
Today I took my son to the mall so he could buy my Christmas gift. And not because I need a present but because it’s important to him that he has something to give me under the tree. In the ...