Kathy finally concluded her career as a geologist and followed Jim into retirement in 2015. The same year, having lived in upstate New York throughout their marriage, they bought their retirement home in coastal Georgia. After wintering in Georgia for three years, they scheduled their transition to year-round southern life for mid-February 2019. But Jim’s 66-year-old heart stopped, without warning, seven weeks before that – on New Year’s Day 2019 and two weeks after Kathy’s 59th birthday.

At the time of Jim’s death, Kathy counted about a dozen widowed women and men among her friends – some closer than others. She called them her guiding lights, proof that it was possible to survive and maybe, someday, even thrive. But no one else’s experience mirrored hers, without children and half-packed for a 900-mile move. Having lost the love of her life and unable to see the future, Kathy’s just making it up as she goes along. She remains in upstate New York, devoting most of her much-depleted emotional energy to being the sole caregiver for two beloved senior coonhounds. She writes to share her perspective on the effects of sudden loss and deep grief on day-to-day living, thought processes and vocabulary.

Author Kathy Sanford

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Staying Home Much?

by Kathy Sanford in Grief
May 1, 2020

If I had stayed home as much a year ago as I am now because of the pandemic, people would have been concerned. Is she becoming a hermit? Is she home moping? I remember being asked if I was getting ...

Waking Up to New Realities, Again

by Kathy Sanford in Coping Mechanisms, Grief, Hope and Healing
March 28, 2020

Waking Up to New Reality You open your eyes and look at the clock. You slept well and murmur a quick “thank you” because you’ve learned through many sleepless nights to appreciate the blessing of a good night’s rest. It ...