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On August 13, 2017, I lost the love of my life. Rick Palmer and I celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary one month before he died at age 63 of complications from treatments for small cell lung cancer. He was my partner and soulmate, the love I had been looking for and finally found at age 40.

Rick was a talented writer and web designer and, in 2002, we began our own web and print design business. We worked together building the business and enjoyed traveling, writing, and playing together. Our dream was to spend our golden years together doing more of the same, but in the ten months from diagnosis to death, that dream shattered.

After Rick’s death, I quickly realized that the enormity of his loss was too much for me to handle on my own, so I began grief therapy. I also began writing through my grief in a journal of feelings, thoughts, memories, and poetry. As I navigate my new life alone, I share my journey and my efforts towards creating my “new normal” on my personal blog: The Writing Widow. I’m also on Instagram, Blue Sky, and Facebook.

I've published three books about my grief journey: my poetry book, I Wanted to Grow Old With You: A Widow's First Year of Grief in Poetry, and two books of poetry and prose - A Widow's Words: Grief, Reflection, Prose, and Poetry - The First Year" and A Widow's Words, Year Two: Grief, Reflection, Prose, Poetry, and Hope."

I also published a memoir: "My Story: A Memoir in Poetry and Prose." All my books are available in ebook and print versions on Amazon.com.

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Recent Posts by this Author

Author Katherine Billings-Palmer

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widow journey

Your Surviving Heart

by Katherine Billings-Palmer in Grief, Hope and Healing, Widowhood Journey
December 30, 2023December 30, 2023
As I sit here, reflecting on the year that has passed, I realized how alone I feel. Sure, I have lots of loved ones in my life - and many, many people I can count on to be there for ...
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Accepting the Unacceptable – This Life Alone

by Katherine Billings-Palmer in Grief, Hope and Healing
November 27, 2023November 27, 2023
For a couple years after my husband died, grief completely overtook my life. I was in a pain-filled fog. I thought about him around the clock. There were memories of his loss everywhere - in my home, my life, my ...
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grief journey

The Bittersweet End of an Era

by Katherine Billings-Palmer in Grief, Widowhood Journey
October 3, 2023
At 66, I look back on my life as a series of eras: periods of varying lengths of time that were significant in some way or another. The innocent years of childhood. My turbulent and foolish teens. The wonder and ...
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grief journey

Coping with “That Day”

by Katherine Billings-Palmer in Coping Mechanisms, Grief, Hope and Healing, Widowhood Journey
August 13, 2023
Rick died six years ago today. Not always being a rational person, I decided the best way to handle this awful anniversary would be to sleep through today. That didn’t work. For one reason, my cat did not agree with ...
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Spine Tingling: A Poem About Loss

by Katherine Billings-Palmer in Coping Mechanisms, Grief, Hope and Healing, Relationships and Dating
July 18, 2023July 18, 2023
Now that I'm retired, I have a lot more time to focus on my personal writing. I'm working on a memoir, and I also write a lot of poetry. Most of my poetry is extremely personal and I only share ...
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chapter two

The Love of a Lifetime

by Katherine Billings-Palmer in Grief, Hope and Healing, Relationships and Dating, Widowhood Journey
July 2, 2023July 2, 2023
As the sixth anniversary of Rick's death approaches, I realize I’ve had many shifts in my attitude about how I view my life here alone. For about the first two years, my whole identity was that of a widow. I ...
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grief journey

Videos and Memories

by Katherine Billings-Palmer in Grief, Hope and Healing, Widowhood Journey
May 17, 2023May 17, 2023
I came across videos of a trip Rick and I took 14 years ago this month. He knew going to Cornwall to explore the land of my ancestors had been a life-long dream and we spent five glorious days in ...
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Remnants of the Past

by Katherine Billings-Palmer in Grief, Hope and Healing, Widowhood Journey
April 8, 2023April 9, 2023
It was like coming across something significant on an archeological dig, that’s how this morning’s discovery felt. I was cleaning out the food cupboard where all the baking needs and oils and such are stored. So many packages have passed ...
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grief journey

Annie’s Song

by Katherine Billings-Palmer in Grief, Widowhood Journey
February 26, 2023
I’m babysitting my two young grandsons for a four-day weekend while their folks are out of town. These two like all sorts of music. They may ask the Amazon Alexa to play Daft Punk, Justin Bieber, rap or hard rock, ...
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Leaving the Past Behind

by Katherine Billings-Palmer in Grief, Hope and Healing, Relationships and Dating
January 16, 2023January 16, 2023
It happened again. I went on another first date that didn’t leave me wanting a second. The man was intelligent and ambitious, polite and friendly. But there was no spark, and, when I got home afterwards, I realized that I ...
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