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On August 13, 2017, I lost the love of my life. Rick Palmer and I celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary one month before he died at age 63 of complications from treatments for small cell lung cancer. He was my partner and soulmate, the love I had been looking for and finally found at age 40.

Rick was a talented writer and web designer and, in 2002, we began our own web and print design business. We worked together building the business and enjoyed traveling, writing, and playing together. Our dream was to spend our golden years together doing more of the same, but in the ten months from diagnosis to death, that dream shattered.

After Rick’s death, I quickly realized that the enormity of his loss was too much for me to handle on my own, so I began grief therapy. I also began writing through my grief in a journal of feelings, thoughts, memories, and poetry. As I navigate my new life alone, I share my journey and my efforts towards creating my “new normal” on my personal blog: The Writing Widow. I’m also on Instagram, Blue Sky, and Facebook.

I've published three books about my grief journey: my poetry book, I Wanted to Grow Old With You: A Widow's First Year of Grief in Poetry, and two books of poetry and prose - A Widow's Words: Grief, Reflection, Prose, and Poetry - The First Year" and A Widow's Words, Year Two: Grief, Reflection, Prose, Poetry, and Hope."

I also published a memoir: "My Story: A Memoir in Poetry and Prose." All my books are available in ebook and print versions on Amazon.com.

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Recent Posts by this Author

Author Katherine Billings-Palmer

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When Life Was Normal

by Katherine Billings-Palmer in Grief, Relationships and Dating, Widowhood Journey
December 11, 2022December 11, 2022
Oh how those Facebook memories love to pop up when my life is moving along almost as if things are normal and nothing has changed. Haven’t I always lived alone here in my ranch home? Wasn’t my daily routine always ...
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The Golden Years

by Katherine Billings-Palmer in Grief, Widowhood Journey
November 17, 2022November 17, 2022
The Golden Years I never thought I’d be alone In the golden years... This stage of life we longed for Retired from the nine to five drudge Free to do anything we wanted. When we looked towards the future, we ...
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grief journey

The Pink Pool Noodle

by Katherine Billings-Palmer in Grief, Widowhood Journey
October 15, 2022
The fuchsia-pink pool noodle Rick bought me is starting to decompose around the edges. The memories of that last vacation we shared are starting to fade around the edges, too. How can a pool noodle come to mean so much ...
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grief journey

My Person

by Katherine Billings-Palmer in Grief, Hope and Healing, Relationships and Dating, Widowhood Journey
September 10, 2022September 10, 2022
When my grief counselor suggested I start dating two years after Rick died, I was appalled by the idea. There was no point. There would never be another Rick. He was “my person.” There was no chance of me finding ...
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grief journey

Still Picking Up the Pieces

by Katherine Billings-Palmer in Coping Mechanisms, Grief, Widowhood Journey
August 13, 2022August 13, 2022
Five years ago today, I held Rick’s hand in a death grip. A literal death grip, for hour upon hour. By noon of that day, I realized he was going to die, and he did, at 8pm that night. The ...
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Our 25th Anniversary

by Katherine Billings-Palmer in Coping Mechanisms, Grief, Hope and Healing, Relationships and Dating, Widowhood Journey
July 16, 2022
This past Tuesday was our 25th wedding anniversary and I celebrated alone, sitting under the windchimes in my gazebo. A small portion of Rick’s ashes are in the chimes, so I always feel like he’s with me when I sit ...
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grief journey

His Lasting Impact on My Life

by Katherine Billings-Palmer in Grief, Hope and Healing, Relationships and Dating
June 18, 2022June 18, 2022
The impact of Rick’s death has lessened as the years go by. That’s only natural. I've always been a firm believer that time really does heal all wounds, although not as quickly as we would like (and I definitely formed ...
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The Ordinary Moments

by Katherine Billings-Palmer in Grief, Widowhood Journey
May 14, 2022
I was watching a Brene Brown video and she talked about how everyone wants to have extraordinary experiences, but how the little things in life really matter more. She said that after stunning life events, like near-death experiences, the death ...
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Love Is All – Sadly Erasing Him From My Life

by Katherine Billings-Palmer in Grief, Widowhood Journey
April 9, 2022
I attended a writers’ conference two weeks ago. I’m still working (reworking) my plans for life without Rick after retirement. We had big plans for our golden years, well laid-out plans. We started our web design business in 2001 with ...
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memories

Write Down the Memories

by Katherine Billings-Palmer in Grief, Hope and Healing, Widowhood Journey
March 13, 2022March 13, 2022
My husband has been gone four and a half years. At this stage, the pain is no longer raw. His absence from my life isn’t something that nags at me hourly or daily as it once did. I’m used to ...
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