Learning to live my life “without” my husband has been one of the hardest things I have ever had to do.

In the last couple of years, I have written many pieces of poetry.  They seem to be one of my most effective “outlets” for processing my pain, my grief, my loss, my love.

As I recently began year three, I have found that my writings are dwindling down to one or two lines.

Anything more, can feel like too much noise…blah, blah, blah.

But today, I am sharing a poem with you in the included photo above, that I wrote on my birthday, back in 2018.

I have not shared publicly, until now.

I hope it resonates with someone.

On a more “hopeful” note, as of today, I have been living “without my Rube” for 2 years and 2 months, and now have more “better days” than sad days.

However, the pain can still sneak up on me, punch me in the gut all over again, out of the blue.  I’m so sorry to all who also experience this kind of life changing pain.

But, no matter how long it takes, please keep fighting to have hope.

Keep fighting to live.

Keep fighting to be happy.

I love this nugget of wisdom below that I saved months ago from Bill Webster:


Your grief will take longer than most people think

“How long will grief last?  It is finished when it is finished.  The first few months may be particularly intense.  The first year is difficult: especially the first Christmas or Hanukkah, the first birthday, anniversary, Mother’s Day, Valentine’s Day, “a year ago today day” and many other times that remind us of our loss.  All are difficult days and we need to anticipate them, know they are normal and be compassionate with ourselves.    Some     writers describe  the  second year of grief as the lonely year when the realization of the life without the deceased becomes even more of a reality.  Take your time.  As John Donne says “He who has no time to mourn, has no time to mend.”  Grief always takes longer than people expect. ” ~ Dr. Bill Webster



Yes!  Living “without” our “person” is hard.

Very hard.

But I have learned, we can do hard things.

We can learn to live here “without them”.

But, like Dr. Webster said, “take your time”.

It can take a lot longer than we or others may think.  And I’m so sorry for that new reality for you and for me.

As often as you can, try to be kind and patient and compassionate with yourself through the process.

I am praying for you like I pray for myself, that Jesus will heal your broken heart.

Much, much love and the deepest of heartfelt compassion, beautiful and precious one.

~ Bec  @UnderstandingGrief