Though the days have come like sudden waves of pain and sorrow, know you are not alone.
For those who have recently become widows, you are not alone. Those who have been on this journey for years, you’re still not alone.
My journey began a little over a year ago. Never have I felt such pain, fear and confusion before. The lingering sense of guilt had me wanting to climb into a dark hole and just stay there. Things I wish I would have done, things I wish I never said or done, came to my mind. It was overwhelming. I wanted to hide away in guilt. I had no freedom to do anything or believe that I deserved anything good.
Though you may seem like there is no up from where you are, I promise you there is.
Openly, I share my Faith with those who I come across, especially those who are going through very similar circumstances. The reason being, it’s the main thing that has helped me through my journey of widowhood. It has given me the strength in those moments when all I felt was weakness. Widowhood was something I never expected to go through so early in my marriage. My husband and I were married two and half years, before he passed.
I speak about guilt, because it seems to be the main thing bringing so much torment to the minds and hearts of many widows. I believe the reason is this, we don’t expect this to happen to us.
Is something I struggled with. I couldn’t forgive myself for what I wish I would have done, but didn’t, or forgive myself for what I wish I didn’t do, but did, or for those times I took my husband for granted. It became a heavy burden on my shoulders.
I sense there are many women who find themselves in this pit of guilt right now.
Many times I thought, “tomorrow I will be better and do things differently.” For me, tomorrow never came. A lot of women are living in that guilt and condemnation right now. I want to let you know, it’s a lie. My purpose is to bring hope to your hearts. Especially to those who are feeling that way today. What happened is not your fault.
This is not a consequence of what you did or didn’t do.
We never know why things happen, but we can truly believe that there is a plan and purpose for it.
You may not see or believe it right now, but I promise this will turn around into a beautiful story of healing, restoration and rebuilding. Your story will be a blessing to someone else when it’s time to spread your wings, again.
Hold on, my love. You will soon see better days. There is a purpose for your pain, and a plan for your life. Take heart and remember you are not alone.
You are deserving of love, forgiveness and every good thing. You are worthy of it, my love.
“For the woman who grieves; you’re not alone. In these days, as sadness comes to you, know there is hope beyond the pain. There is strength for the weakness and joy for the sadness.” -Stephanie