Right now, America is facing a pandemic. And that calls for social distancing. A polite way to say quarantine or social isolation. For so many widows, this means being all alone. Their spouse is dead.  The person they would have relied on to keep them calm during the storm is no longer there. They are alone, truly isolated. 

 

When you are widowed, you often find yourself isolated. Not because the government tells you to do so but often because people don’t know how to be around you. The invites to events stop. People keep their distance because you’re sad.  Others avoid you because they simply just don’t know how to deal with grief. Social isolation is very real for many widows. And now it’s about to get even worse.

 

For many in the widow community, meetups, dinners, and events with other widows is the only form of socialization.  And now they are being told to stop. To stay home. To avoid contact with people. For some, two weeks at home with nothing to do sounds like a blessing. For others, two weeks at home with nothing to do reminds you of how much you’ve lost. Makes your heart hurt even more.

 

And for those raising children without their partner, it means being the sole parent. Making all of the decisions. Trying to entertain your children 24/7. Managing your household.  Without anyone to help you. Doing this on a daily basis is stressful enough, doing it in a pandemic can be downright terrifying.

 

So what can we do?

How can we take care of each other?

 

We can FaceTime or video chat. 

Call and check in on each other.

Watch the same TV show or movie while on the phone with each other.

Play games together on the computer.

Read the same book and call each other to discuss it.

Send letters via snail mail or email.

Make plans for when we can get out and socialize again.

 

The most important thing is to take care of yourself and each other. This is a scary time. And for many widows they are facing it all alone. No one else in their home. Some adult conversation and interaction would be greatly appreciated. So please, let’s band together and take care of our community.

 

We are widow strong!

 

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Carla Duff

Carla always knew she would be a widow but didn’t have any idea how it would actually feel. When Carla met her late husband Jared, he was waiting for a lung transplant due to Cystic Fibrosis, a chronic disease affecting the lungs and pancreas. So she knew that most likely someday she would say goodbye to her husband. But she never dreamt it would be exactly one week before their 14th wedding anniversary. In August 2014, Jared was diagnosed with a rare bacterial infection in his transplanted lung and was expected to survive at least 6 months if not a year. Instead, he died just 6 weeks later. And in the blink of an eye, Carla became a solo mom to their 10-year-old son. And even though her life was forever marked before and after, she was determined to live life to the fullest because her husband would expect no less. She founded Breathing for Jared, a Foundation to provide college scholarships to those suffering from lung disease in honor of her late husband. Became a supporter of the CF Foundation and Donate Life. And discovered that writing out her emotions and fears on her blog Transplant Wife and Widow helped her to process her grief Carla recently remarried and is now blending a family with her new husband, bonus daughter, and son.

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