National Widow’s Day is May 3rd. 

 

For many, this day is insignificant. 

Just another national day on the calendar. 

But for the 3.48 million widowed men and 11.27 million widowed women living in the US, it is significant. 

 

It is a reminder that we belong to a club that no one wants to join. It is a reminder that our lives are forever changed. That our calendar is marked as before and after the day our person died. That we will never have the life we originally planned. 

 

If you cannot understand the importance or significance of this day, be grateful. Be thankful. And at the same time show love and compassion to those who know just what this day means.

 

When my late husband, Jared, died I didn’t have any choice but to start living my widowed life. It wasn’t a life I ever wanted. Definitely not when I ever asked for. But it was the one I was given. 

 

One minute I was a wife and literally the next I was a widow. And I had no idea what that actually meant. What that would feel like. What it would be to not live as a widow.

 

I had no choice but to put one foot in front  of the other and figure it out. Widowhood became my journey to walk.  And I didn’t have the option to leave it behind.  

 

But my friends, they had a choice.  An option.  And thankfully many chose to stay. 

 

For those that honored their promise to stay beside Steven and I when Jared died, thank you.  

Thank you for remembering Jared. 

Thank you for making sure Steven never forgets his dad. 

Thank you for sharing your stories. 

Thank you for quietly sitting beside me on the hardest days. 

Thank you for laughing with me when the sun began to shine again. 

Thank you for staying even though you could not understand the journey we were walking.

Thank you for still being here almost 7 years later.

 

And for those who couldn’t stay, it’s OK. I understand. And should you decide you want to come back and join our life again, the door is always open.  And please know that someday if you are unfortunately walking along the path of widowhood , I promise to be there for you.

 

On this National Widows Day, reach out to the widows in your life. 

Let them know you haven’t forgotten. 

Say their loved ones name.

Share your favorite story of their person.

 

Whether a widow you have been widowed a day, a month, a year, or a decade, knowing your person is remembered is the greatest gift anyone can give you. 

 

For all of those who stayed and helped your widowed friends, give them that precious gift today. Remember their loved one. 

_______________________

Have you heard about Hope for Widows Foundation’s annual virtual Widows of Hope 5K on May 15 and 16? Registration is now open! For details, FAQ’s and to register/support go to: https://racewire.com/register.php?id=12122 Anyone can join! Whether you are a widow, widower, or a friend/family member showing support, or walking in the loss of another family member, everyone is welcomed to participate. The deadline to register is May 15, 2021. The proceeds will directly support widows directly through their annual financial Restoring Hope and Peace Grants, Sunshine Boxes program, and our Bring Hope Holiday Assistance Program.

About 

Carla always knew she would be a widow but didn’t have any idea how it would actually feel. When Carla met her late husband Jared, he was waiting for a lung transplant due to Cystic Fibrosis, a chronic disease affecting the lungs and pancreas. So she knew that most likely someday she would say goodbye to her husband. But she never dreamt it would be exactly one week before their 14th wedding anniversary. In August 2014, Jared was diagnosed with a rare bacterial infection in his transplanted lung and was expected to survive at least 6 months if not a year. Instead, he died just 6 weeks later. And in the blink of an eye, Carla became a solo mom to their 10-year-old son. And even though her life was forever marked before and after, she was determined to live life to the fullest because her husband would expect no less.

She founded Breathing for Jared, a Foundation to provide college scholarships to those suffering from lung disease in honor of her late husband. Became a supporter of the CF Foundation and Donate Life. And discovered that writing out her emotions and fears on her blog Transplant Wife and Widow helped her to process her grief

Carla recently remarried and is now blending a family with her new husband, bonus daughter, and son.

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Carla Duff

Carla always knew she would be a widow but didn’t have any idea how it would actually feel. When Carla met her late husband Jared, he was waiting for a lung transplant due to Cystic Fibrosis, a chronic disease affecting the lungs and pancreas. So she knew that most likely someday she would say goodbye to her husband. But she never dreamt it would be exactly one week before their 14th wedding anniversary. In August 2014, Jared was diagnosed with a rare bacterial infection in his transplanted lung and was expected to survive at least 6 months if not a year. Instead, he died just 6 weeks later. And in the blink of an eye, Carla became a solo mom to their 10-year-old son. And even though her life was forever marked before and after, she was determined to live life to the fullest because her husband would expect no less. She founded Breathing for Jared, a Foundation to provide college scholarships to those suffering from lung disease in honor of her late husband. Became a supporter of the CF Foundation and Donate Life. And discovered that writing out her emotions and fears on her blog Transplant Wife and Widow helped her to process her grief Carla recently remarried and is now blending a family with her new husband, bonus daughter, and son.

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