Radical acceptance.

I have learned as a widow that we are all walking around with wounds no one will ever be able to see. I’ve also learned as a widow that all I’ve ever wanted is for people to just accept exactly where I am in my grief. By accept, I mean just be present in the moment with whatever feeling I’m having. You don’t have to fix it, you don’t have to say some intelligent words or thoughts that help me to process, you just need to sit and radically accept where I’m at. I have learned that most people want the exact same thing, Widow or not.

Life gives us lots of opportunities to practice acceptance, big and small.

Accept people where they are. Listen. Convey care. Be present.

There are so many times that words escape us, and that is okay. I have learned that words, more often than not, can’t come close to conveying the emotions that come with grief. So expecting someone in your life to have the right words or phrases in that moment of deep grief is unfair. We don’t know how to do this. We aren’t supposed to.  Being a badass widow doesn’t mean we always know what to say or do, it’s just accepting that what you are feeling is real and valid. Period. No questions asked. All we can do in difficult emotions is to connect with the feeling. We may never experience what the person has, but all of us have felt sad, angry, confused and lost.