The last 7.5 years have been a journey for me. A journey into grief. A journey of survival. A journey about living. And on this journey of widowhood there has been much to learn.
I have learned that I’m stronger than I ever thought possible. I survived a fate worse than death. Yet here I am. Surviving, living, thriving.
I have learned that I am worthy of love. That I deserve the moon and stars and I won’t settle for less. I was willing to open my heart to love and took a risk on finding love. And am living my happily even after.
I have learned a pity party only gets you so far. That being alone is not the same as being lonely. I am now comfortable in my skin. And am willing to face this world head on.
I have learned to accept my faults. I am nowhere near perfect. I have learned to laugh at myself and realize that I am going to continue to stumble. That this journey is a cha cha and I will take two steps forward and one step back.
I have learned that life is short. Too short to say no to an adventure. Too short for regrets. Life should be lived. Especially with those who love me.
But most importantly, I have found a peace within myself. A realization that I can survive the unimaginable. That I am teaching my child that life does not end with death. That we choose how we move forward. And that when we add new memories, we are building our future.
And I have learned that Jared would be proud. That by choosing to move forward, to find new love, and to build a future I am keeping my promise. I am honoring Jared. I am honoring our love story.
This may not be the life I signed up for but it is the life I was dealt. And I have learned to make the most of each day. The last 7.5 years have taught me that grief never ends. This journey is one that I will be on for the rest of my life. And it is up to me to decide if it will be one of laughter, love, and adventure.