Love yourself
We lost the love of our lives. And Holidays are always there to remind us. Survived Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s think it is finally safe and Valentine’s Day comes out of nowhere.
Ads for flowers and gifts are all over. Rom Coms are coming out. There will be posts about how in love people are and even engagements. And there are times this makes me jealous. Jealous that the love that I had while it still exist is now still there but different.
I have taken the last year to learn how to love myself. This past week I went on a trip to Atlanta alone. Monday night I had no plans so I went to the restaurant within walking distance, sat at a table, and ate dinner. It was a huge win for me since I would have normally ordered food and eaten in my room.
When Miley Cyrus came out with Flowers I loved the message that it has. Women don’t need a man to do all those things. I am glad someone is finally giving women the message that a man is not needed to get the things we want in life.
I love myself enough to know that I will not settle for less than I deserve. Family and friends are still in my life and I still have love. While I am putting myself out there and trying to move on I know that when it is the correct person I will know.
Life took me on a road that I never expected to go down. Matt and I did not celebrate Valentine’s Day. He never sent me flowers. I did not have an engagement ring. There was no decoration of love on our Facebook But at the end of the day, I did not want any of that. I had the love that I needed and did not want anything more.
I know that when someone asks me about moving on they don’t do it out of malice. They ultimately mean well.
I am proud that everything that I need I can provide for myself. While I wish I would wake up tomorrow, and find Matt next to me it is because I miss my partner, my companion in life. It is the way he loved me that I miss.
This romantic still believes in love. I am working on believing that people get a second chance at love.
Take care of your heart this week. It is okay to be sad. It is okay to allow yourself to feel the pain but at the end of the day, it is also okay to love yourself. Buy the bag of chocolates or flowers or whatever you may want.
About Laurel Snook
Laurel became a young widow on October 2, 2020, her husband Matt had a heart attack he was only 37. Matt was a juvenile diabetic and they always knew he would die young but she never thought that she could be a widow at 32. Navigating grief with anxiety, regrets and guilt have been a struggle for Laurel. They had gotten into a fight days before he died and they had talked about divorce. One of the things that helped her the most is finding other widows who understood the pain she was feeling. In February she decided to start writing her story. Self-care is something else she started to do daily and art has become her outlet to get what she is feeling out which she shares on her Instagram. Being a young widow comes with its own challenges but we are not alone in this journey.
You can find her on Instagram @HealingPorcupine or her personal blog link- Healingporcupine.com.