Today is not any special day between between Glenn and I but today is/was/has been hard. It was my last day to end another school. Emotions ran deep as I started the day and dealing with you not being here.
You aren’t here to tell me…
- How proud you are I made it through again.
- To celebrate that I walked away from the school year not exploding on a student.
- We aren’t “just sitting” on the patio enjoy the quiet.
- I don’t get to ride along with you and be your “call girl” as you visited all your customers. There’s no meeting up at “get off time” – whenever you decided that would be for the day
- No working on summer bids
- No watching the water sprinkler on the freshly mowed lawn while sitting in the swing
- No sneaking off to The Spot for you to let me just watch the water and you get to have your favorite burger
There’s such a void today. Going into this summer seems so different than last summer. I could blame it on many different things but the truth is you are not here. Saying I miss you is the understatement of the century. I know how lucky I was to have you in my life for the rest of yours but that doesn’t help today.
I miss that look and knowing, once again, I won’t have that special summer time with you. Today stinks. But…..after sitting in my cleaned, packed away classroom and shedding a few tears, I decided the grandkids will spend the summer celebrating and experiencing all the things we did – as much as possible anyways.
In your honor we will:
- Remember and talk about proud you always were that I made it through again.
- I will remind each of them how much you loved them (even before they were born)
- Celebrate that I “walked away” from the school year not exploding on a student.
- We will “just sit” on the patio to enjoy the quiet outdoors
- We will visit a few your favorite old customers and your boss just to say hello
- Make plans to meet up with friends at “Glenn get off time” to teach them to take time for yourself and friends
- There will be watching of the water sprinkler on the freshly mowed lawn while sitting in the swing
- Introduce them to sneaking off to The Spot in Galveston to watch the water and begin a new tradition of enjoying your favorite burger together.
When today began I was sure it would be another one of those long sad days. To be able to turn myself around as I have is proof you are here with me when I need you. So, this evening I raise my glass, say your name outload and cheers to a great summer break. All along knowing you will be smiling down on Peanut, Mowgli, and little man (aka Mowgli 2.o!) as we build new memories in your honor.
About Pam Williams
Pam is originally from Texas, where she grew up as the oldest of her siblings. With more than 15 years of experience in the education field, she has dedicated the last four years to teaching graphic design. Throughout their time together, Pam regularly captured the ups and downs of their journey through blogging and journaling. Sadly, she lost her husband Glenn on November 3, 2019, due to complications from a congenital heart issue.
As she adjusts to her new role as a mother and bonus mother to five adult children, along with two wonderful sons-in-law, she proudly embraces her role as a Grammy to four adventurous grandchildren. Motivated by many to share her experiences, Pam has started a personal blog and plans to publish her writings for everyone to enjoy
Thank you. I really hope your summer is a good one. Don’t forget to remember how strong you truly are. Always here if you need someone to talk with.
I also ended the school year without my husband and although I am glad for summer, it is bittersweet. The thought of how different it will be is scary. Your perspective is wonderful-thanks for sharing.