Today is not any special day between between Glenn and I but today is/was/has been hard. It was my last day to end another school. Emotions ran deep as I started the day and dealing with you not being here.
You aren’t here to tell me…
- How proud you are I made it through again.
- To celebrate that I walked away from the school year not exploding on a student.
- We aren’t “just sitting” on the patio enjoy the quiet.
- I don’t get to ride along with you and be your “call girl” as you visited all your customers. There’s no meeting up at “get off time” – whenever you decided that would be for the day
- No working on summer bids
- No watching the water sprinkler on the freshly mowed lawn while sitting in the swing
- No sneaking off to The Spot for you to let me just watch the water and you get to have your favorite burger
There’s such a void today. Going into this summer seems so different than last summer. I could blame it on many different things but the truth is you are not here. Saying I miss you is the understatement of the century. I know how lucky I was to have you in my life for the rest of yours but that doesn’t help today.
I miss that look and knowing, once again, I won’t have that special summer time with you. Today stinks. But…..after sitting in my cleaned, packed away classroom and shedding a few tears, I decided the grandkids will spend the summer celebrating and experiencing all the things we did – as much as possible anyways.
In your honor we will:
- Remember and talk about proud you always were that I made it through again.
- I will remind each of them how much you loved them (even before they were born)
- Celebrate that I “walked away” from the school year not exploding on a student.
- We will “just sit” on the patio to enjoy the quiet outdoors
- We will visit a few your favorite old customers and your boss just to say hello
- Make plans to meet up with friends at “Glenn get off time” to teach them to take time for yourself and friends
- There will be watching of the water sprinkler on the freshly mowed lawn while sitting in the swing
- Introduce them to sneaking off to The Spot in Galveston to watch the water and begin a new tradition of enjoying your favorite burger together.
When today began I was sure it would be another one of those long sad days. To be able to turn myself around as I have is proof you are here with me when I need you. So, this evening I raise my glass, say your name outload and cheers to a great summer break. All along knowing you will be smiling down on Peanut, Mowgli, and little man (aka Mowgli 2.o!) as we build new memories in your honor.
About Pam Williams
Pam was born and raised in Texas and is the oldest of her siblings. She has worked in education for over 15 years with the last two being a graphic design instructor.
In the spring of 2011, with both of them almost 41, lots of baggage between the two (which fondly became known as “the luggage”, Pam met her husband and soulmate Glenn and soon after they began to merge their families. The wonderful journey began but everyone always knew it had been destined.
Pam is a mom and bonus mom to five adult children (plus two wonderful son in laws), a grammy to five adventure seeking grands , and widow after Glenn passed away due to complications of a congenital heart condition on November 3, 2019.
Pam has often blogged, journaled, and spoke about all of the joys, ups and downs, and adventures of their life and has been encouraged by many to actually share with the world. She has begun a personal blog and soon will be publishing for all to enjoy.
Thank you. I really hope your summer is a good one. Don’t forget to remember how strong you truly are. Always here if you need someone to talk with.
I also ended the school year without my husband and although I am glad for summer, it is bittersweet. The thought of how different it will be is scary. Your perspective is wonderful-thanks for sharing.