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If anyone is asking,

my favorite day

is March 3rd, 2020.

 

That’s the day we were still four.

 

That’s the day you had fizz.

 

That’s the day your body was still buzzing.

 

You sat in our living room recliner

and announced,

Babe, I’m ready for a change.

 

You had an interview the next day.

You had an eye doctor’s appointment.

Don’t you dare charge me, I said.

He’s not late, he’s dead.

 

It’s not my honeymoon.

Not the day we met.

Not all the birthdays.

 

It’s the perfectly ordinary day

before my world cracked open,

and my yolk came sliding out, sizzling.

 

I hope where you are

there’s a Vegas spread

of eggs and sausage and hash browns

because I didn’t get to make you one last breakfast

before you had to go –

 

 

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Amanda Crane

Amanda thought March 4th, 2020, would be just another normal morning until her husband, Ed, went into cardiac arrest due to his heart condition, HCM, hypertrophic cardiomyopathy. There was a 1% chance of sudden death, but he passed that day. He was 40 years young, and they had been married for 14 years. One week later the world went into lockdown due to Covid, and Amanda and her two small sons, who were 9 and 11, would be left grieving during the strangest of times. During this time, writing was the only way Amanda could cope. She wrote the manuscript The Queen of Joyful Things, which are poems about losing her husband. She is happy to be a part of the Hope for Widows community and hopes her story will help other young widows. You can visit her at: https://amcrane76.wixsite.com/www-amanda-crane-wix

All Posts by Amanda Crane