Fill In The Blanks

How would you fill in the blank for your story?

My life is________________________.

Everything is going to be ____________________.

It is shocking to me just how drastically everything you thought you knew can change.

With life’s changes come unavoidable changes in ourselves.

Changes that cannot be undone. Transformations of every aspect of who we are whether we are

longing for a change or terrified of even the slightest change, they will come and you will change.

You will look back 10 years from the now and you will notice that where you find yourself in the

present and who you were 10 years ago is quiet different. In fact in the case of grief, everything about

10 years ago is drastically and desperately different than today.

Right here and right now, I would fill the blank in by saying,

My life is…………………. Over.

My life is stressful.

My life is broken, painful, lonely…… The list of adjectives describing the misery of grief are so long.

What a stark contrast to the way I would have filled in the blanks 10 years ago, early in my marriage to my husband when the statement would have read:

My life is……………………………wonderful,

so happy,

so exciting,

so filled with love,

so blessed.

Boy how I miss those adjectives.

In the grand scheme of things, a few years of grief isn’t long, but the day in and day out of hundreds of consecutive days of carrying the weight of the sorrow and grief is so wearying.

I have always been a lover of words and the power God gives them to bring healing, hope, encouragement and comfort.

A positive word seems to hold inside it some sort of tiny spark of energy that can spread and lead to at least a bit of a positive attitude and a positive feeling in ourselves and those around us. Words filled with faith and a belief in good things coming from the hands of God have a way of uplifting the spirit, but it takes a daily, conscious choice to choose thoughts in my head that my heart doesn’t feel or agree with.

Things like …. instead of Everything is going to be…… ruined.

How about I try?….:

Everything is going to be……. Ok……eventually.

Or Everything is working together for a good that I can’t yet see.

Or everything is going to be…………different………..but different can still lead to happiness again.

I wonder what are the words that you would use to fill in the blanks for your life today?

In Hope & Prayers,

From This WidowMama

About Dorothy Swanson

Dorothy lost her beloved husband Oct 2021 to a very unexpected bacterial pneumonia that quickly became septic shock. Her other half and best friend was born with a serious congenital heart defect. Because of that, she had always feared the possibility of being a widow, but she thought it more likely to be due to his heart, and more likely when her husband was in his 50s after the children were grown. Instead, he graduated to heaven just one week before turning 34. Dorothy was 36 with young sons ages 5 and 16 months who adored their Daddy. In less than 48 hours, the life Dorothy and her beloved husband so carefully built together shattered. They were blessed to share just over 8 wonderful, joyous and fun years of marriage. While her heart is so thankful to God for having had their journey together, she has struggled since his death with feeling hurt and let down by God. She has felt so devastated that their love story was short and ended so abruptly. Join her as she shares her unfolding journey of grasping to faith in Christ as she journeys through love, loss, single parenthood, honoring her husband's legacy and guiding her sons through their grief and life without Daddy.