It is so challenging to be a young widow raising children alone. It is a lonely demographic and bearing that title can leave you feeling displaced. A little “Googling” online concludes that about 7% of the population age 18 and up are widowed with young widows under 40 being considered a “statistically rare” portion of that meager 7%.
*Young widows (under 40) face a 30% higher risk of depression compared to their married counterparts
*Nearly 40% of young widows report feelings of social isolation
*About 25% of young widows take more than a year to return to normal daily routines
*Young widows are 50% more likely to experience sleep disturbances compared to older widows
*Approximately 10% of young widows experience suicidal thoughts during the first six months after their spouse’s death
*Young widows are less likely to remarry within five years compared to widows over 50
*60% of young widows report difficulty in managing grief without professional help
*Women widowed before age 35 are 60% more likely to experience chronic health issues in subsequent years
*Young widows frequently face stigma and social judgment, reported by 45% of respondents in a recent survey
*Loss of social network is reported by 45% of young widows due to stigma and embarrassment
- 58% of young widows report losing friends or close social contacts after their spouse’s death
- In a survey, 60% of young widows said they felt socially invisible or overlooked post-bereavement
It really is a different kind of difficult to be widowed young while there are still children to be raised, after just a few years of marriage when so much of your life spans, so you assumed, should have been ahead for both of you. And it can be tricky to find a community that understands. For me personally, there really isn’t any local support group or church small group dedicated to young widows. It is a rural area and sometimes it can seem like I am the only young widow in the state, though I know that isn’t true. The quest for community is not an easy journey. Where to fit can be hard to determine when everything has changed in your life.
Not really a great fit in the singles group, certainly no longer allowed in the young couples fellowship. Yes, a mother but there is a lot different about solo parenting as a widow and mothering with a supportive spouse like so many young marrieds still get to enjoy. Yes, a widow group would be helpful but in the rare event I find something short term here it is a very small group of ladies whom were married 40 or 50 years. There is a different tone to that kind of loss usually, when the widow is 70s/80s. One of a completed journey, children raised, sometimes even grandchildren raised and a nearly full life lived, etc. Online community can be helpful but even that is difficult to find, and zooming in with people across the US a couple times a month just doesn’t satisfy my need for a friend who really understands and can share a meal or meet up at a playground for our kiddos to play together.
I guess my conclusion is just to be thankful for all forms of community, realizing there isn’t always a “perfect fit,” but to recognize I can learn something new and enjoy something unique from each person or type of group even if it isn’t ideal. In the mean time, I can remember I have God’s presence and care and concern for my life here every moment and continue to pursue my quest for community in whatever he brings my way.
What is your experience with seeking community?
Has it been hard to find a community of widows in your area?
In Hope & Prayers,
This Widow Mama
Helpful statistics gathered from multiple sources by the folks at: https://wifitalents.com/young-widow-statistics/
Image from canva.com
Finding a place where I belong as a young widow has been difficult for me as well. I don’t quite for in with the single mothers who never been married or who are divorced because their children still have living fathers. Granted some fathers are absent as if they’re not alive, the truth is the loss is different. I no longer fit in with the married couples and feel uncomfortable at times when spending time with them. Although the older widows can be great support, I don’t fit in with them because my boys are still young. I just feel awkward in circles at church and work and my neighborhood that I’ve been apart of for years.
But I’ve found peace in having a heart of gratitude. When I focus on the bad or uncomfortable, I get down and depressed. So I’ve decided to focus on all the ways that God is keeping and providing for us. And I’m overwhelmed with joy and gratefulness. I choose joy and peace.
I love your grateful spirit. Even in the midst of the heartache of grief and widowhood, we still have so much to be thankful for. Thank you for taking the time to remind everyone of that here in your comment.
Praying you have peace, joy, strength and the support necessary to take best care of yourself, children and everyday responsibilities. May Good send you destiny helpers to get you to living a life of victory and peace, in Jesus’ name.
Thank you so much!
Hi my name Princess from South Africa Johannesburg, I became a young widow at 31, my first child was 7,2nd was 5 and last was 15 months old.
27 April 2017 was the worst day of my life, it was like day instantly became night to me, I asked myself so many questions why did God allow such a terrible pain to fall upon me and my kids. it’s been 9 yrs of pain, rejections, isolation, hate, suffering, depression,loss and so many unbearable things I had to go through
.
it’s a very painful journey, hard to take your kids to school, provide a meal, buy them clothes, give them all the love and attention they need cause your mind is always running thinking.
May God help each and everyone of us
Thank you for sharing your story with us here. Praying for you as you continue this journey of caring for your children as a young widow and traveling this journey of grief.