Finding Purpose

It’s possible for widows to find meaning and purpose in life again, even while acknowledging the pain of grief may never completely go away. We can choose to move forward in a positive way. The key is to be patient with yourself and allow yourself to feel your emotions as you work through the grieving process. Then, as you can, take deliberate steps to define and pursue your purpose.

Grief combined with the myriad of changes in the wake of the loss of my husband left me feeling lost and vulnerable. The grievers that have gone before us encourage us to keep pressing forward and eventually it will get easier. They maintain how important it is to take each new step and not allow ourselves to quit. While it did take time, this wisdom proved to be pretty accurate. There’s nothing easy on this road through grief. By continuing to keep putting one foot in front of the other I am eventually finding solid ground and making progress.

God created our emotions and our five senses so we can experience life and deepen our understanding of Him. It’s natural to wish we could avoid the pain of grief, but it’s important to recognize it is a part of our human experience. Avoiding grief would mean missing experiencing the deep love and connections we have with others, and that would be a great loss. The encounter with grief is a testament to the depth of our emotional lives and our capacity for connection and love.

Lord, you know everything there is to know about me. You perceive every movement of my heart and soul, and You understand my every thought before it even enters my mind.

You are so intimately aware of me, Lord. You read my heart like an open book and You know all the words I’m about to speak

before I even start a sentence! You know every step I will take before my journey even begins. You’ve gone into my future to prepare the way, and in kindness You follow behind me to spare me from the harm of my past. You laid your hand on me! Psalm 139: 1-5

It’s possible to learn to live with our grief and find ways to cope with the emotions that come with it. Our emotional responses can be intense and erratic at times. This ability to feel is what makes us human and connects us with others. Each one of us is unique and this means we can respond in many different ways and intensities to circumstances and triggers we face each day.

All of these things are natural because God’s creation bears His image, including emotions. Everything He made is good. He made us like Him. He created us because He sought to have a family He could connect with emotionally. He has an infinite capacity to  love and wishes to pour it into our hearts and lives.

God wired women the way He did for a reason. The world would miss out on the beauty of life that can only be seen by hearts 
that have no choice but to feel.

The depth we can go to and the heights we can reach are opportunities for us to experience and feel significant passion 
in our relationship with God—where the earthly meets the divine.

~ Elizabeth Enlow, God in Every Season

Just like taking each step through grief is the only way to make progress, discovering our purpose and destiny requires taking each new step. God created us for a purpose. We are fully equipped to pursue that purpose. We need to consider our skills, and the gifts and talents God created in us, to build a framework to define our purpose. This purpose will become ever more relevant as we take each step to enhance our skills. As we learn, and grow the skills that come easily and the skills we find invigorating and fun, our purpose will also be defined with much more clarity.

Very few things are common across all audiences and all cultures. I believe there are three desires that are shared by everyone. 
We all have a need to be loved. We all want our lives to matter and count for something. We all possess an eternal component 
that longs to connect with God. Without this last spiritual connection, other pursuits become hollow and lack meaning.

Dave Yarnes- Spiritual Life Application Guide

God knows the end from the beginning. That’s a rather complicated thought when you dig into it. It comes from the Book of Isaiah and there are other places in the Bible that also explore this message from God.

I declare from the beginning how it will end and foretell from the start what has not yet happened. I decree My purpose will stand, and I will fulfill My every plan. Isaiah 46:10 TPT

There is much comfort that can be found in this. To really understand it, we need to know who God is.

Pay attention and come closer to Me, and hear, that your total being may flourish. I will enter into an everlasting covenant with you, and I will show you the same faithful love I showed David. Isaiah 55: 3 TPT

To the degree we have a limited or diminished perspective of who God is, we limit and diminish our purpose and life in general. The less we know of God, the less we will access and reveal Him.  When we intentionally build our relationship with Him, we get to know just how much He loves us and wants us to live a full and fulfilling life. The more we spend time in His presence and get to know Him, the more we can rest in His love and grace. We will then be equipped to use our purpose to reflect who God is and how He loves us.

God is intent on teaching you to see past the obvious and discover just how loved you are...and then 
teaching you to radically and extravagantly give that love away. When we know Him, really know Him 
through every season of our soul, others will know Him too, by our love. And this war can only be 
won by lovers.”

Elizabeth Enlow, God In Every Season

Because God is love, we are loved. Learning how loved we are, despite our grief and current circumstances, helps us draw near to our Heavenly Father.  We realize our need for a Savior and grow in our desire to love Him back and share Him with those we love. Encountering His unconditional love changes us for the better and we realize we are building a personal relationship with our creator.

Remember, you never fight this battle alone but with the strength that is yours because of the presence and power of the One who gave His 
life so that you would have everything you need even in the darkest of moments in this fallen world. Cry out to your Lord. He hears; 
He really does. Run to Him; He cares and will not turn His back on you in your moment of need.

~Paul David Tripp

Be fearless in your frailty today. God created us for intimate relationship. He cares about what we are feeling and going through. He desires us to share that with Him without holding anything back. He wants to lavish His love on us. He has answers to every question and solutions for every problem.

Hope is a light on the pathway forward that gives us an opportunity to process otherwise insurmountable events. Actively envision realistic ways to improve your circumstances. Discover the purpose God created you for and actively pursue it. Expectation creates an opening for a personal portal for God to pour things through. Expect a bright future and live in the blessings of God’s love and peace.

So then, we must cling in faith to all we know to be true. For we have a magnificent King-Priest, Jesus Christ, the Son of God, who rose into the heavenly realm for us, and now sympathizes with us in our frailty. He understands humanity, for as a man, our magnificent King-Priest was tempted in every way just as we are, and conquered sin. So now we draw near freely and boldly to where grace is enthroned, to receive mercy’s kiss and discover the grace we urgently need to strengthen us in our time of weakness. Hebrews 4: 14-16

 

Don’t you know? Haven’t you been listening? Yahweh is the one and only everlasting God, the Creator of all you can see and imagine! He never gets weary or worn out. His intelligence is unlimited; He is never puzzled over what to do! He empowers the feeble and infuses the powerless with increasing strength.

Isaiah 40: 28-29

About Teri Miner

Teri’s dance with grief actually began over five years before she watched her beloved husband of almost 37 years take his last breath and enter Heaven’s door on October 6, 2019. A terminal degenerative neurological disease steadily and increasingly attacked nearly every major system of his body and transformed him from a vibrant, brilliant, strong and caring man to a bedfast invalid at the end. She was devoted to caring for him and doing her best to make the most of every minute they had left, to love him and pray for a miracle.

She thought she knew what her future held, but she had no idea. Losing him was the first time she experienced a close and personal loss. He was the love of her life. The onslaught of the pandemic with its reign of fear-mongering, forced isolation and separation entering the scene and disrupting or destroying whatever sense of “normal” that remained, just added insult to injury.

Her faith in God is the sustaining force keeping her fighting spirit to find and share hope in a bright future. Her heart’s desire is to walk beside her fellow widows toward a path of promise and healing. She wants to offer encouragement and hope so others can find the strength to take that next breath or next step. She recently started her own blog, https://widowwhispers.blogspot.com/, to share with other widows not only the struggles and hardships of widowhood, but the triumphs. Her hope is found in leaning on the Lord Jesus to enjoy a God inspired future anchored in expectation He will bring us to a fulfilling and meaningful life.