Father God created us as unique and diverse people with intricate needs. We are not just people with physical needs. We have a physical body we must attend to, but the fullness of our life is just as dependent on us to nurture and care for the needs of our mind, will and emotions. The deepest emotional need of every human being is love. Our soul needs to be loved and feel truly accepted.
As widows we have a unique situation where we are intensely aware of this. Our relationship with our husband once filled this emotional need the most deeply as a human and it has been snatched away, leaving a gaping hole we can no longer fill. Some widows no longer feel loved or wanted. Some who are experiencing drastic changes in other relationships in the wake of this loss wonder if they are even lovable anymore.
God is love. Everything God ever did has been out of love. God’s nature is love and His love is unconditional. He created us with love so He can fellowship with us and make us His family. This gift of love He generously pours out is the fundamental element we need to satisfy our longing for real acceptance.
Our human understanding of love falls so short of God’s intention and meaning. We tend to restrict it to our carnal nature, blind acceptance, uncontrollable feelings of giddiness and butterflies, or something we are expected to feel for family members and close friends. The dictionary limits it to mere affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests. It even calls it an assurance of affection, as if it is something we only give to get something in return.
God’s interpretation of love goes so much deeper and wider than our limited understanding. While some the ways we think of love are true and perfectly acceptable, God wants us to know Him and experience Him on a much more intimate level. It was the intimacy we enjoyed with our husband that brought that special depth of love we now miss so dearly.
God defines what love is in many different scriptures to help us understand the depth of pure Godly love. One of the greatest passages is found in 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7.
Love is large and incredibly patient. Love is gentle and consistently kind to all. It refuses to be jealous when blessing comes to someone else. Love does not brag about one’s achievements nor inflate its own importance. Love does not traffic in shame and disrespect, nor selfishly seek its own honor. Love is not easily irritated or quick to take offense. Love joyfully celebrates honesty and finds no delight in what is wrong. Love is a safe place of shelter, for it never stops believing the best for others. Love never takes failure as defeat, for it never gives up.
1 Corinthians 13: 4-7 TPT
You might notice God’s meaning of love focuses on what we can give and do for others and minimizes the emphasis of self the world tends to highlight. God being love is all about what He can do for us when we give ourselves to Him and trust Him with our worries and cares. He is gentle, kind and patient with us no matter how messed up we are. He is not here to put us down, take offence when we say or do something wrong, or get irritated with us. He celebrates our success, is a safe place where we can be completely honest about how we feel, and He never, ever gives up on us!
God made us in His image. Because He is love, we can be sure He infused His creation with the desire to reflect His love in us. God is the original… pure and overflowing love. God creates each of us with motivations, passions, pleasures, reasoning and understanding that mirror His own. It gives Him great pleasure and joy to see us display qualities that imitate His divine love. This is where our spiritual life needs to find its expression.
True spirituality that is pure in the eyes of our Father God is to make a difference in the lives of the orphans, and widows in their troubles, and to refuse to be corrupted by the world’s values.
James 1: 27 TPT
Isn’t it amazing God’s Word defines our mission to demonstrate His love and reflect His presence and influence in our character and actions. He specifically mentions the most vulnerable ones in our society. He encourages us to make a positive and healing difference for orphan children and suffering widows. He points out the importance of keeping our focus on who He is. The world, or society not interested in God’s way of doing things, doesn’t care about the broken, hurting, and fragile people.
Pure spirituality is untainted by ulterior motives. God doesn’t have a hidden agenda when He does something for us. He simply wants to show us how much He cares about us. He wants to pour out His love on us. When we are moved to do something kind for someone for no reason, we are acting like God does. We do things out the goodness of our heart. We simply want to be a blessing to someone. This is how God treats us all the time.
For those of us who had that special relationship with our husband and knew a love that overlooked our shortcomings, had patience with our weaknesses, and could surprise us with loving gestures when we never expected it… we have a pain in our heart that is so hard to express or explain. No one else here on earth can fill that void in our life. Even if we might eventually find a new partner, it will be different.
So how do we find the courage and strength to navigate a new path without our husband beside us? That’s where our relationship with Father God comes in. He wants to be our best friend, our encourager, our motivation. He showers us with blessings every day. He sees all that we are going through.
Did you know God cares about the plight of widows so much He mentions them more than eighty times in His Word—both in the Old and New Testaments? He promises to be the husband of the widow in Isaiah 54: 5.
For your Maker is your husband; His name is YAHWEH, Commander of Angel Armies! Your Kinsman-Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel! He has the title Mighty God of All the Earth!
Isaiah 54: 5 TPT
That gaping hole we can’t fill with other people now that our husband is gone doesn’t have to stay that way. God wants to heal that hurt like only He can. He knows exactly what we need and want. If you don’t feel loved or wanted, or wonder if you are even lovable anymore, God wants you to know He loves you. He created you for a purpose and He wants to help you fulfill that purpose. He knows if you have a purpose you will keep going.
Those who are loved by God, let His love continually pour from you to one another, because God is love. Everyone who loves is fathered by God and experiences an intimate knowledge of Him.
1 John 4: 7 TPT
God is love. He wants you to know today He understands how much you miss your husband. The love you shared with your husband was just a sample of the love God wants to share with you. Your Heavenly Father wants to pour His love into your heart and change your life. He wants to flood His love and affirmation into you as He heals the broken places in your heart and life.
It is my prayer you will start feasting on the love God freely provides for you. God is your husband now. Run into His arms and let Him wrap you in His loving embrace. Open your heart to let His love heal your wounds. Allow Him to affirm you. Accept His healing touch and follow His leading to fulfill the plans and purpose He created you to do. He is so faithful and is waiting patiently to answer your every prayer. Trust Him with your needs. Share with Him your desires. Receive the revelation God loves YOU dearly. Rest and relax in the overflowing power of His love cascading over you right now. Enjoy divine fellowship with your loving Father as you embrace His gift of grace and love.
Delightfully loved ones, if He loved us with such tremendous love, then “loving one another” should be our way of life! No one ever gazed upon the fullness of God’s splendor. But if we love one another, God makes His permanent home in us, and we make our permanent home in Him, and His love is brought to its full expression in us.
1 John 4: 11-12 TPT
Every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realm has already been lavished upon me as a love gift from my wonderful heavenly Father, the Father of my Lord Jesus—all because He sees me wrapped into Christ. This is why I celebrate Him with all my heart!
And in love He chose me before He laid the foundation of the universe! Because of His great love, He ordained me, so I would be seen as holy in His eyes with an unstained innocence.
For it was always in His perfect plan to adopt me as His delightful child, through my union with Jesus, the Anointed One, so His tremendous love that cascades over me would glorify His grace –for the same love He has for the Beloved, Jesus, He has for me. And this unfolding plan brings Him great pleasure!
Since I am now joined to Christ, I have been given the treasures of redemption by His blood—the total cancellation of my sin—all because of the cascading riches of His grace. This superabundant grace is already powerfully working in me, releasing all forms of wisdom and practical understanding. And through the revelation of the Anointed One, He unveiled His secret desires to me—the hidden mystery of His long-range plan, which He was delighted to implement from the very beginning of time. And because of God’s unfailing purpose, this detailed plan will reign supreme through every period of time until the fulfillment of all the ages finally reaches its climax—when God makes all things new in all of heaven and earth through Jesus Christ. Through my union with Christ I too have been claimed by God as His own inheritance. Before I was even born, He gave me my destiny; that I would fulfill the plan of God who always accomplishes every purpose and plan in His heart.
Ephesians 1: 3-11
About Teri Miner
Teri’s dance with grief actually began over five years before she watched her beloved husband of almost 37 years take his last breath and enter Heaven’s door on October 6, 2019. A terminal degenerative neurological disease steadily and increasingly attacked nearly every major system of his body and transformed him from a vibrant, brilliant, strong and caring man to a bedfast invalid at the end. She was devoted to caring for him and doing her best to make the most of every minute they had left, to love him and pray for a miracle.
She thought she knew what her future held, but she had no idea. Losing him was the first time she experienced a close and personal loss. He was the love of her life. The onslaught of the pandemic with its reign of fear-mongering, forced isolation and separation entering the scene and disrupting or destroying whatever sense of “normal” that remained, just added insult to injury.
Her faith in God is the sustaining force keeping her fighting spirit to find and share hope in a bright future. Her heart’s desire is to walk beside her fellow widows toward a path of promise and healing. She wants to offer encouragement and hope so others can find the strength to take that next breath or next step. She recently started her own blog, https://widowwhispers.blogspot.com/, to share with other widows not only the struggles and hardships of widowhood, but the triumphs. Her hope is found in leaning on the Lord Jesus to enjoy a God inspired future anchored in expectation He will bring us to a fulfilling and meaningful life.
I need help. Widowed for 3 years 5 mos. Have done little healing. Didnt know your organization existed. Still so broken I recently reacted to a gay cake taking deco. Off of it. I am loved I am special why should gays have Gods rainbow colors, deco., & 7.95 price. No 1 even celebrated me at all. In so much pain. Have repented & will again for my reaction & will make restitution in July. I dont understand why I reacted like this. Not like me. Maybe cuz no one has celebrated me. I am in so much pain. Its ridiculous. I hope finding your organization will help.
Jillane, God still has new chapters to your story. I’m so very sorry for your loss. This loss of our beloved husband is about the worse pain we can possibly go through. It’s very hard to pick up the pieces of our broken life and find the path forward. In fact, I believe it is impossible without God’s divine help. It sounds from your response like you may have some knowledge of God and a relationship with Him.
I want to encourage you today by reminding you God’s not done writing your story. We live our lives and sometimes don’t think we are very important or special in God’s eyes. He is pouring out His blessings and we can trust Him. He has our days planned out for us. He has a purpose He created you to do. You have a story to tell. God doesn’t write bad stories. We might have some bad chapters in our life, but never forget God is the author and the finisher. He has chapters yet ahead that are meant to redeem and restore things in your life.
Don’t miss the whispers of God’s love as He leads you where He is bringing you so He can bless you, heal you, and empower you to fulfill every plan and purpose He designed you for. I pray this passage right from the Book of Ephesians over you right now.
I pray the Father of glory, the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, would impart to you the riches of the Spirit of wisdom and the Spirit of revelation to know Him through your deepening intimacy with Him. I pray the light of God will illuminate the eyes of your imagination, flooding you with light, until you experience the full revelation of the hope of His calling—that is, the wealth of God’s glorious inheritances He finds in us, His holy ones! I pray you will continually experience the immeasurable greatness of God’s power made available to you through faith. Then your life will be an advertisement of this immense power as it works through you! This is the mighty power released when God raised Christ from the dead and exalted Him to the place of highest honor and supreme authority in the heavenly realm!
Ephesians 1: 17-20 TPT
God created you before the earth was formed and gave you an identity, purpose and destiny. I call these things forth in Jesus’ mighty name. I decree all guilt, shame, and fear is rooted out of your heart and mind. A Spirit of power, love and a sound mind is yours. 2 Timothy 1: 7 Amen.