I am you.
I understand you.

My heart has been broken and repaired and broken again.

I know you are scared.
I know there are days so dark you think the sun has set for good.
I know you cry until there are no tears left but still, you sob.

I know your pain.
I know your struggles.
I know because I am you.
I am a widow.

I know you have a hard time connecting with others not like us.
They can not understand what they have not experienced.
They say things or do things and you just think to yourself
“How stupid are you?”
It’s not stupidity, it’s lack of experience.
They don’t realize that death changes you.
That you died with your beloved.
That you can’t go back to what was before.
That this will be a part of the new you, forever.

I know you are confused on what to do now.
I know you feel lost and unsure of what’s next.
I know you think that this is it.
Heartache and heartbreak is all you will ever know.

I know this because I felt this.
All of this and more.
I now know that this is not true.
At least not the whole truth.

The truth is there is joy amidst the pain.
The truth is love will find a way back into your heart.
One way or another, it will come back to you and you will start to feel whole again.

You will.
I know.
I am you.

We can heal together.


Who am I? I am a mother, a friend, a daughter and most recently, a widow.
On August 12, 2016 my husband died and I went with him. I have been spending my days since trying to rediscover who I am. Slowly and painfully, the real Lindsey began to emerge from the rubble. I was unsure of my purpose but diligently pushed through and fought for something that offered a glimmer of hope. Through many long days of uncertainty and pain I finally realized that I am bigger than my tragedy, that grief has many faces, it’s not just tears.There is more, so much more and I intend on embracing every bit. I am here. I am hope. I am love. She also writes and shares her heart on her personal blog called Grief Deposit. You can also find her on Instagram sharing her journey at @beatrixsgarden