Own your grief, but don’t let grief own you. 

You’ve been through hell on Earth.

You’ve endured a loss only few can comprehend. 

You get to cry whenever you feel like it, for whatever reason. 

You get to be a bad ass.

You get to be a puddle of tears.

You get to skip a holiday.

You get to decide how you grieve.

One time, our daughter’s dental hygienist told me she was pregnant after dealing with debilitating infertility, and I cried, I bawled actually. We ended up crying together with my 3 ½ year old  daughter looking at us like we were fools. 

See…in that moment, it was like a movie playing, I saw my husband and I getting the call from the fertility clinic that we were finally pregnant. I cried, he was the happiest I’d ever seen him. He was relieved and so thankful my body didn’t have to go through anymore shots.  Then a quick look of confusion from him…..I was sobbing….he didn’t know what to do, as I was not a crier. I was crying from relief too. 

I saw us in slow motion, and then all of a sudden… I was jolted back to our reality of him being dead, and I will never feel that type of joy again. 

Ever. 

The hygienist understood and we hugged in a silent understanding of infertility and loss.

Own it.

Own those moments of pain.

I told lots of people that story as an example of never knowing when or where a grief burst may happen. Grief bursts are short and intense bursts of emotions that come on as fast as they leave. 

Own it. 

Cry, scream, yell, cuss, giggle, laugh, tell the story, own.it. 

Own your grief, you’ve earned it. 

Grieving is a badass superpower. Own it. 

About 

Tricia Kauffman is a mother, widow, sister, daughter, friend, and school counselor. She has been in education for 20 years and loves to work with kids. Tricia was widowed after a 12 day battle with pancreatic cancer that her husband was diagnosed with one day before his 39th birthday. Their miracle IVF baby, Margaret Pearl, just turned three in Feb and Cory died in March. She started a Kindness group on Facebook in honor of her husband to create a legacy of kindness for our daughter called Kindness 4 Cory.