Tomorrow is Memorial Day which in this country has turned into BBQ and parades celebrating the “Summer” starting. But tomorrow is not about that, it is about remembering those who have passed and honoring the ultimate sacrifice that some of our military men have made to protect this country.

As a child, I would go to the cemetery with my grandma and plant flowers at all the family graves. Talking about them and honoring their lives. She would talk about how people have forgotten the real reason they have the day off. Her uncle and brother were both in the service at one point.

On May 13 I participated in the Widow of Hope 5k. One of my best friends and her family met me to do with me. We talked about Matt and about my future and what that might look like now that I am with someone.

We honor our loved ones by remembering them and talking about them. They are gone but never forgotten. They live in our hearts and minds as long as we talk about them.

If you are hurting this memorial day remember to be honest and open with the people around you so they can help you with how you are feeling.

This year is different than the last two as I now have hope for my future. I am not missing my past to the point of becoming depressed.

As I move on I know that I will always hold the love that I have for people who passed in my heart. I will talk to them at times. Wondering what they would think about certain things.

I had a BBQ at my house yesterday thinking about how my grandma would have loved it. Friday was the one-year mark of her death. She has been on my mind all week. Thinking she would like the pictures I took while on vacation.

Yesterday we talked about Matt even as people were meeting my boyfriend. And that has been something normal in my circle. Talking about him is not something I shy away from, and it is something my boyfriend is okay with. We all have our ghosts.

Tomorrow on Memorial Day remember that this is not a holiday for BBQs and parades, it is a day that we remember those we lost. We recognize our partners that died. We recognize our fallen soldiers.


Laurel became a young widow on October 2, 2020, her husband Matt had a heart attack he was only 37. Matt was a juvenile diabetic and they always knew he would die young but she never thought that she could be a widow at 32. Navigating grief with anxiety, regrets and guilt have been a struggle for Laurel. They had gotten into a fight days before he died and they had talked about divorce. One of the things that helped her the most is finding other widows who understood the pain she was feeling. In February she decided to start writing her story. Self-care is something else she started to do daily and art has become her outlet to get what she is feeling out which she shares on her Instagram. Being a young widow comes with its own challenges but we are not alone in this journey.
You can find her on Instagram @HealingPorcupine or her personal blog link-