The Little Things I Miss

So much of sharing life with my sweet husband was made up of big moments, milestones and memories. The birth of traditions and the joyful adjustments to newlywed life. Each anniversary, vacation, date night or weekend getaway adventure. First baby preparations, being new parents together, pregnancies, labors and deliveries, events on the job, major happenings within extended family.

But equally important, special, and equally missed are those little quirky things that make each couple unique. The smaller details of the day to day routine. Each detail of our own individual personalities and how we related to one another. It is those little things that are so often those taken for granted. When they are absent and will never return, those absent details, though small in measure, leave very large empty places in our hearts.

Sometimes my intense longing is simply just to experience some of these little things again. Oh what I wouldn’t give to just simply hold his hand or caress his stubbly handsome face again. I long to hear his tender voice, or to pick up his dirty laundry from the floor that had missed the hamper one more time. And yes, I really missed hearing him snore in my ear and teasing him about it.

I wonder what are the little things that you miss?

The Little Things ~a poem by me~

I miss the little special things that daily filled my heart.

The good morning kisses and embrace that gave each day its proper start.

Packing your lunch, washing your clothes, reminding you to grab work keys,

Hearing you breathe, hearing you snore, and even hearing your sneeze.

I miss hearing your funny voices and sound effects when you’d play with our sons.

And how your humor was even able to make going to the mechanic or Dr. office fun.

Our tooth brushes side by side, our shoes and clothes together too.

The way you’d organize your DVDs and your Coke collection that was just so you.

How you’d finish my sentence or know just what I was thinking.

Gathering your socks strewn about our room, even if they were stinking.

The constant music you had in your mind and your goofy dancing about.

The yummy recipes you’d create for us and delight to watch us try out.

Empty cherry coke cans on the counter, and your pocket filled with hard candies.

How you’d wear your shoes at the beach because you didn’t like your toes getting sandy.

Watching you sit and read your bible, hearing your compassionate prayers.

Listening to your great lament, as you discovered your thinning hair.

How patient you always were just to listen to me vent.

The way that neither one of us ever knew how to build a tent.

Laughing at your puns and all your goofy ways.

How we were like two grown up kids, we always liked to play.

Relying on you to help me understand movies by Marvel and Star Wars.

How you were an old fashioned gentleman, always holding doors.

Teasing you for your disdain for bananas, mushrooms and pickles.

Hearing our sons squeal with delight, enjoying their Daddy’s tickles.

Listening to the beat of your heart, and praying each day for more years.

Entrusting my whole heart to you in happiness and tears.

Placing my hand on your chest and feeling the warmth of your life.

Thanking God each and every day for the privilege of being your wife.

~In Hope & Prayers~

From This Widow Mama

About Dorothy Swanson

Dorothy lost her beloved husband Oct 2021 to a very unexpected bacterial pneumonia that quickly became septic shock. Her other half and best friend was born with a serious congenital heart defect. Because of that, she had always feared the possibility of being a widow, but she thought it more likely to be due to his heart, and more likely when her husband was in his 50s after the children were grown. Instead, he graduated to heaven just one week before turning 34. Dorothy was 36 with young sons ages 5 and 16 months who adored their Daddy. In less than 48 hours, the life Dorothy and her beloved husband so carefully built together shattered. They were blessed to share just over 8 wonderful, joyous and fun years of marriage. While her heart is so thankful to God for having had their journey together, she has struggled since his death with feeling hurt and let down by God. She has felt so devastated that their love story was short and ended so abruptly. Join her as she shares her unfolding journey of grasping to faith in Christ as she journeys through love, loss, single parenthood, honoring her husband's legacy and guiding her sons through their grief and life without Daddy.