The hits keep coming my dog who I have had for 13 years is starting to have issues. She has been with me through it all. Meeting Matt, falling in love, getting married, and him dying. Through it all she was the one constant.
Last Friday she started having seizures out of no where. My heart is not ready to lose her. Over the weekend I was not sure what to think or do. Years of having this dog and she has never had any major problems.
On Tuesday I took her to the vet and we ruled out the simple things. But at her age the test to tell us what is going on and not doing treatment would not make sense. Monitor her was the solution. She is not appearing to be in pain. Now I am facing possibly losing another important thing and it seems like every year that happens.
Wednesday was my 9th wedding anniversary. My 3rd that I have been alone for it. Six years that is all I got with him. In years past I would have been a mess but this year was different.
My mind was all over on Wednesday but my boyfriend recognized that I was stressed and dealing with anniversary feelings. He made us dinner and then took me for a hike knowing that is what I needed. And that made all the difference from years past.
I still thought about Matt but it did not make me curl up in a ball and cry. There was a person supporting my needs. Understanding my feelings and just being there.
For the first time in years I believe that time does heal all wounds. It is a level of support and care that need. My heart is still alittle broken and I did have a meltdown Friday morning at the thought of losing more. But life will go on if I stop living to protect my heart then I will never be happy. I have made the choice to risk my heart again to feel something other then hurt.


Laurel became a young widow on October 2, 2020, her husband Matt had a heart attack he was only 37. Matt was a juvenile diabetic and they always knew he would die young but she never thought that she could be a widow at 32. Navigating grief with anxiety, regrets and guilt have been a struggle for Laurel. They had gotten into a fight days before he died and they had talked about divorce. One of the things that helped her the most is finding other widows who understood the pain she was feeling. In February she decided to start writing her story. Self-care is something else she started to do daily and art has become her outlet to get what she is feeling out which she shares on her Instagram. Being a young widow comes with its own challenges but we are not alone in this journey.
You can find her on Instagram @HealingPorcupine or her personal blog link-