I have been struggling on how to tell my in laws that I have moved on. It is not something that is easy to just say. Today I saw them and didn’t say anything.

 

I wish I could just write them a letter but that is not something that would be okay.

Dear in laws,

 

Matt was my first love and the only person I ever thought I would be with. He was the perfect person for me in that stage of my life.

 

I never thought I would love again. My heart was so broken when he died. I was so lost. There were days that there seemed to be no hope.

 

Like some people believe I thought after a year my grief would just disappear. That did not happen. I attempted to move on to find someone to make me feel again.

 

That went horrible. I gave up again and decided that maybe I only get one love. In order to heal I need to figure out who I was again. I needed to live on my own.

 

Over a year and a half I did that. Finding the things that make me happy. Learning to love myself.

 

Then the thing I thought would never happen did. I met someone that reminded me what it felt like to be alive. He makes me happy and that is not something that I thought would happen.

 

I hope you will be able to understand that I love Matt. He will always own a part of my heart. I think that he would be happy that I have moved on.

 

I still want you all in my life. You are important to me and I consider you all family. I don’t want to lose you. And I hope I won’t.

 

I have been struggling with telling you that I am with someone for fear you won’t understand. In the end I am hoping I am wrong.

 

Love always,

Laurel

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Laurel Snook

Laurel became a young widow on October 2, 2020, her husband Matt had a heart attack he was only 37. Matt was a juvenile diabetic and they always knew he would die young but she never thought that she could be a widow at 32. Navigating grief with anxiety, regrets and guilt have been a struggle for Laurel. They had gotten into a fight days before he died and they had talked about divorce. One of the things that helped her the most is finding other widows who understood the pain she was feeling. In February she decided to start writing her story. Self-care is something else she started to do daily and art has become her outlet to get what she is feeling out which she shares on her Instagram. Being a young widow comes with its own challenges but we are not alone in this journey. You can find her on Instagram @HealingPorcupine or her personal blog link- Healingporcupine.com.

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