I Grieve For You

I grieve for you when your little friends

Say “Hey look what I did with my Dad.”

They talk about guy things

that only Dad’s can do.

I wish you had your Dad,

So you could talk about him too.

I grieve for you….

When I know what you lost,

was so much greater than your little head can understand.

This only life you know is far less wonderful

than the plans for you

that your Dad and I always had.

I grieve for you….

When your feelings are too big

for your childish heart to understand.

When your sadness spills out

And you scream and you shout

seeing you suffer is more than I can stand.

I will grieve for you always.

Knowing that out of all the Daddy’s

You had the very best.

But I wanted you to have more time to know that too.

He loved every moment he spent as your Dad

and he was so very proud of you.

This is me

On the brink of disaster

on the edge of tears

on verge of a melt down

overwhelmed with fears

The walking wounded

A forever amputee

Gaping flesh in the places that you used to be

I just can’t take it anymore.

Too many triggers

Surviving grief is like a war.

I surrender. I’m tired of pretending I’m OK.

If I feel sad, then I’ll show it.

I’ll just be sad everyday.

The sadness so deep

How come no relief?

Two years of brokenness

two years of defeat.

I pray

I ask God for help.

I am searching for hope.

I commit to go on.

But I am so sick of darkness

When comes the dawn?