When life is calm and things are going along smoothly like we hope they will, we may settle into feeling we are in control and can keep this going. When a massive life changing event throws that framework into chaos and confusion, it is very unsettling… to say the least. The death of our spouse is one of the most significant life changing events we can suffer.

Experiencing the loss of our beloved husband is one of those life circumstances that forces us to acknowledge the fact we really don’t have complete control of our life. While we can control certain things, we do not have the power to control many of the important aspects of living that impact our lives the most. We can’t control what other people will say or do. We can’t control the seasons, weather, drought, wildfires, earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, hurricanes, floods, famine, tsunamis, or other similar events that impact millions of people every year. We have no control over when and where we are born, how long we will live on this earth, or what health or other problems we might be dealt in our lifetime. We find ourselves subject to rising prices, rent increases, and numerous other financial challenges that impact our budget and income. We are controlled and subject to inflation, taxes, laws, regulations, and government jurisdiction.

Just as a passenger in a plane has no control over when the plane will take off, where it will go, or when it lands… we really don’t have control over where our life will take us. We buy a ticket and believe we are going to get to the place listed on it. We do our part to get to the airport and get onto the plane and take our seat. Then we trust the pilot, the crew, and the air traffic control agents to do their part and transport us to our destination safely so we can be on our way. We have our part we can control, and we relinquish the rest to the people trained and able to do the things we can’t do.

We all want to have someone we can trust with the various elements and situations life brings. We know we can’t do everything, and we have limited authority and ability to influence and change many things. We seem to so easily put our trust in pilots, government officials, doctors, lawyers, our boss, and many others. We expect them to use their knowledge and influence to handle the particulars we need while keeping our best interests at heart.

What happens when the person, firm, or entity we put our trust in proves to be incompetent, ignorant, or wicked? What if they lied about their ability? What if they had an agenda to only benefit them? Even when they have the best intentions, people can make mistakes, get distracted, or have their own emergency or crisis that pulls them out of the picture.

If we aren’t in control… who is? God is. Here are just a few of the Scriptures that teach us this.

I create light, and I make it dark. I make bliss, and I create adversity. I am YAHWEH who does all these things.’ “Shower down righteousness, O heavens above. Let the clouds drip with deliverance! Let earth’s womb open and bear salvation’s fruit, with righteousness rising up beside it! I, YAHWEH, created all of them!
Listen to what YAHWEH, the Holy One of Israel, the One who shaped him, has to say: “Why do you question Me about the destiny of My children or tell me what to do with My children and what I made? I created the earth and populated it with people. With My own hands, I spread out the cosmos and then commanded the starry host to shine!
Isaiah 45: 7-8, 11-12 TPT


But the God of Israel is no idol! He is the Creator of everything that exists, including Israel, His own special possession. The LORD of Heaven’s Armies is His name!
Jeremiah 10: 16 NLT


For the Lord God is one, and so are we, for we share in one faith, one baptism, and one Father. And He is the perfect Father who leads us all, works through us all, and lives in us all!
Ephesians 4: 5-6 TPT


He existed before anything was made, and now everything finds completion in Him.
Colossians 1: 17 TPT


Before we can learn to trust God is in control of all of life’s circumstances, we all eventually go through a season where we might really question this. Some of the questions we might explore include asking ourselves the following.

  • Is there a God? If not, how did we get here?
  • Is God really in control? How much control does He have? If He is not in complete control, then who or what is?
  • Can I learn to trust God is in control and rest in that? If I can’t trust Him, who or what can I trust?

If you’ve read anything I’ve written before, you know I believe not only there is a God, but I can trust Him, and I believe He is absolutely good. I’ve faced numerous trials and difficulties in my life. I’ve learned from experience God will meet me where I am and help me through every circumstance I face when I ask for His help and let Him show me what I need to do and let Him do the rest.

Sometimes we need to be reminded by God there are no limits to His rule and His power in our life. When we are able to fully trust our Father God, we experience a freedom that makes us feel the most secure and reverent we can be. Trust allows us to hear Him when He speaks, explains, and promises us He is in control. Our acceptance of this truth allows us to relinquish the ever-present need we have when we feel we must be in control of every aspect of our life.

When we understand and know God’s Word, we can see life through the filter of who God is. His Word is the Bible He gives us as His love letter and manual for living the best life we can.  Every time you open the Bible God speaks to you. Are you looking for those Words? Are you listening?

“Are you weary, carrying a heavy burden? Come to Me. I will refresh your life, for I am your oasis. Simply join your life with mine. Learn My ways and you’ll discover I’m gentle, humble, easy to please. You will find refreshment and rest in Me. For all I require of you will be pleasant and easy to bear.”
Matthew 11: 28-30 TPT

How do we really cast our cares on the Lord?


How many times do we pray and ask God to help us? How many times do we hand over our cares to Him, only to take them right back if we don’t see an immediate response? Our human need to control and be in control makes us think we know the right way to handle things. We get impatient and want a resolution to whatever it is causing our distress. We offer suggestions to God and let Him know just how this needs to be handled like we are the ones in charge and know everything.

I don’t know about you, but I need a practical way to approach this very question. God showed me I try to complicate things. It takes humility to trust. Humility in this case is me deciding to deliberately relinquish my need to control. It means I surrender to the truth I don’t have the answer and I need help. It means I choose to believe God is absolutely good and He knows the best way to handle the problem I face.

If you bow low in God’s awesome presence, He will eventually exalt you as you leave the timing in His hands. Pour out all your worries and stress upon Him and leave them there, for He always tenderly cares for you.
1 Peter 5: 6-7 TPT

There are simple steps I can take to do this. First, I need to bring the problem, issue, fear, or whatever it is that has me distressed to God. Humbly acknowledging God’s authority over my life and submitting to His timing and way to handle the problem, while believing He loves me and will not hurt or forsake me, is what God calls us to do. The trust we show is a demonstration of our faith in God. I like to talk to God in prayer as I tell Him what is on my mind. To cast my burden on the Lord means I transfer ownership of those burdens from me the Lord. I am free of the burden when I do this. Now I can declare God’s goodness and faithfulness to bring me through the situation.

God bends, remodels and reshapes us as we surrender to Him. Now my job is to believe and trust. We are not meant to sustain ourselves. Just like a newborn baby cannot survive without the care and nurture of its mother, God designed each of us to live in dependence on Him and His nurture and provision.

So here’s what I’ve learned through it all: Leave all your cares and anxieties at the feet of the Lord, and measureless grace will  
strengthen you.
Psalm 55: 22 TPT

Other versions of this verse from Psalm 55 say God sustains us when we cast our burdens on Him. To sustain someone means to maintain, nourish, provide food, bear, hold up, protect, support, defend, or to supply the means necessary for living. I love the way The Passion Translation assures us God’s measureless grace will strengthen us. He will strengthen and support us through the entire situation. He will bring good out of it and equip us along the way with whatever we need as we need it.

As we read further in 1 Peter 5, we are given a glimpse as to why we face difficulties and trials even when we are doing all we can to live a life surrendered to God and try to live in a way that glorifies and pleases Him.

Be well balanced and always alert, because your enemy, the devil, roams around incessantly, like a roaring lion looking for its prey to devour. Take a decisive stand against him and resist his every attack with strong, vigorous faith. For you know your believing brothers and sisters around the world are experiencing the same kinds of troubles you endure. And then, after your brief suffering, the God of all loving grace, who called you to share in His eternal glory in Christ, will personally and powerfully restore you and make you stronger than ever. Yes, He will set you firmly in place and build you up. And He has all the power needed to do this—forever! Amen.
1 Peter 5: 8-11 TPT

We live in a fallen world and our efforts to please our loving God make the enemy mad. We will face trials and troubles. When we follow God’s strategies to trust Him through every distraction and attempt from the enemy to kill, steal and destroy, God Himself will pour His redeeming love and strength in us to restore His plan for us and set us firmly on the solid foundation we desire. We will have glorious testimonies we can share to encourage others going through similar struggles. Our glorious God receives all the praise, honor and glory. As we choose to partner with God, we take back our joy, peace, hope and perseverance.

Don’t be weary in well doing. Watch and see what God will do. He is walking in your room right now, patiently waiting to be invited to come and change the things you need changed right now. God works wonders.

What space are we making for God in our life? How much time are we giving Him in our day? Do we stop and listen… waiting patiently to hear from Him what He wants to tell us? Stand strong and believe, the King is coming. He’s coming through.

At the very moment I called out to You, You answered me! You strengthened me deep within my soul and breathed fresh courage into me. One day all the kings of the earth will rise to give You thanks when they hear the living words I heard You speak. They too will sing of Your wonderful ways, for Your ineffable glory is great! For though You are lofty and exalted, You stoop to embrace the lowly. Yet You keep Your distance from those filled with pride. By Your mighty power I can walk through any devastation, and You will keep me alive, reviving me. Your power set me free from the hatred of my enemies. You keep every promise You’ve ever made to me! Since Your love for me is constant and endless, I ask You, Lord, to finish every good thing You’ve begun in me!
Psalm 138: 3-8 TPT



Teri’s dance with grief actually began over five years before she watched her beloved husband of almost 37 years take his last breath and enter Heaven’s door on October 6, 2019. A terminal degenerative neurological disease steadily and increasingly attacked nearly every major system of his body and transformed him from a vibrant, brilliant, strong and caring man to a bedfast invalid at the end. She was devoted to caring for him and doing her best to make the most of every minute they had left, to love him and pray for a miracle.

She thought she knew what her future held, but she had no idea. Losing him was the first time she experienced a close and personal loss. He was the love of her life. The onslaught of the pandemic with its reign of fear-mongering, forced isolation and separation entering the scene and disrupting or destroying whatever sense of “normal” that remained, just added insult to injury.

Her faith in God is the sustaining force keeping her fighting spirit to find and share hope in a bright future. Her heart’s desire is to walk beside her fellow widows toward a path of promise and healing. She wants to offer encouragement and hope so others can find the strength to take that next breath or next step. She recently started her own blog, https://widowwhispers.blogspot.com/, to share with other widows not only the struggles and hardships of widowhood, but the triumphs. Her hope is found in leaning on the Lord Jesus to enjoy a God inspired future anchored in expectation He will bring us to a fulfilling and meaningful life.