A few years ago, a thought occurred to me that prompted me to sit down and think deeply.
Not long after Bret ended his life, I joined multiple support groups that I had found on social media. I don’t recall a lot about those early days, but I do remember that some of these groups were immediately welcoming. The support and love I received were also immediate.
To this day, I am still friends with many of the people I met from the groups. In fact, some of them are absolutely precious, adored parts of my life now.
The thought that had caused me to stop and think was that IF Bret had never died, I would not have met these people.
Of course, I likely wouldn’t have needed their particular brand of support if he hadn’t passed. But honestly, thinking of my world without some of these lovely folks in it makes me sad for different reasons.
It’s not just the people I met from support groups, it’s just people I’ve met just because. After all, I wouldn’t have been in the position to meet most of them had my life stayed the same as it was before Bret died.
I know amazing people–some from before, but many from after. And it hurts my heart to think I might never have known some of them in another version of this life.
On days when I’m feeling a grief wave, one thing that helps is to think of the “new” friends I’ve made since that day when my world turned completely upside down.
I think of the person I am now–who I’ve fought so hard to become–and remember that I wouldn’t want to be anyone else.
Were things wonderful back before Bret died?
Sometimes.
Are things wonderful now?
Also, only sometimes.
At least now, though, I know I have an army of friends, new and old (some of whom I consider family) beside me as I continue to navigate the chaotic world of widowhood.
I honestly can’t imagine life without these people, and I wouldn’t want to.
There are many that couldn’t hang on after all the trauma, and went their separate ways. But to those who stayed, and to those who later came in, thank you.
A widow’s support system is priceless, and I am (still) grateful to those who are a part of mine.
Support group image via Bing AI
About Layla Beth Munk
Layla Beth Munk is a blogger & author who was thrust into this widowhood journey abruptly and tragically on February 11, 2018. Her husband of 12 years had ended his pain once and for all. She soon made the decision that she would not let his final decision define the rest of her life or their daughter’s life, so with her sense of humor at the helm, she started writing about her newfound station in life. Grief waves still get to her, and probably always will, but with the help of her fellow widows as well as friends and family, she has been able to realize her dream of becoming a published author! Layla is so grateful to Hope For Widows Foundation for providing this level of support to her, and so many others! Layla has two amazing children, one who is grown and one who is almost grown. She lives in eastern Oregon and has a wellness & beauty background. Layla enjoys writing poetry, watching anime, and homeschooling her daughter.
Her blog can be found at laylabethmunk.medium.com and her debut novella, 24 Hours in Vegas, is available on Amazon.