Grief is not just tears.
It is not just pain or sorrow.
It is not just devastation or hopelessness.
Grief can be laughter.
It can be joy and inspiration.
It can be smiling with a glass half full.
Grief is not just singular.
It is not just a single lost life.
It is not just a single life-altering blow.
Grief can be plural.
It can be several big and small instances.
It can be a loss of relationships, jobs, or identity.
Grief is not just loneliness.
It is not just isolation or separation.
It is not just an empty pit in your stomach.
Grief can be community.
It can be friendship and sisterhood.
It can be strong support from the most unlikely places.
Grief is not just tears.
Grief is an incredibly loaded term. From the outside, people tend to hear “grief” and think of mourning, sorrow, and tears. Yet, as someone who is in depths of grief, the term has developed into so much more. I have found that grief is a constant variable. I grieve 24/7, 365. Even when I am smiling and laughing surrounded by loved ones or doing my favorite activities. Even when I am progressing in my career and interpersonal relationships. Even when I am happy and at peace. From the outside looking in people assume I am “over” the loss of my husband or that I have “moved on.” That is the furthest from the truth and is honestly laughable. My motivation to smile everyday is Paco. My motivation to wake up and pursue new adventures is Paco. My motivation to continue living to the fullest is Paco. Just because my grief is not exclusively tears, does not mean that grief does not still very much live inside of me. People will continue to assume and draw conclusions on how you are supposed to grieve and carry yourself after loss, but little do they know is that each individual person is entitled to their own grief journey. As long as you honor your journey confidently and faithfully then there is no need to allow outside impressions to affect you. Carry on, sister. We got this.
Shanna Puckett-Anguiano lost her husband after just four short months of marriage on October 1st, 2024. Shanna and Paco Anguiano were in a long-distance relationship for nearly four years prior to their marriage, as Paco was from Chiapas, Mexico. Shanna and Paco did not let the stigmas and hardships of the K1 visa come between their strong bonds. Anyone who truly knew this couple would quickly correct anyone’s doubt, with even Shanna’s father expressing his thoughts at Paco’s funeral saying, “every father’s wish is for their daughter is to find a man who loves them unconditionally, and that is exactly the man Paco was.” Paco was diagnosed with synovial sarcoma on September 20th, 2024, which coincidentally was also Shanna’s 30th birthday. Paco lost his life unexpectedly to that cancer 11 days later, a week before treatment was scheduled to begin.
Shanna continues to reside in her small hometown, located in the upstate of South Carolina. She is accompanied at home by her two dogs (Indi & Suki) and two cats (Es & Sister). Shanna has been a court reporter for the past 5 years and serves as chairperson of children’s ministry at her home church. She is currently in the process of obtaining additional certifications to continue moving up in her career. Shanna has developed a donation drive in her husband’s name in celebration of his birthday in the month of July called Paco’s Smile. This drive collects material and monetary donations for her local county cancer association. Shanna is an advocate for mental health, cancer awareness, and over all kindness being spread throughout the world. She prays to carry on the legacy of her husband, Jose Francisco Ovando Anguiano, by showing grace, gratitude, and a toothy grin just as he did every day.
