"No man (or woman) steps in the same river twice, for it's not the same river and (s)he's not the same (wo)man."--Heraclitus I live near the Green River, drive across it a few times a day, walk next to it ...
Before I lost my husband, I was vaguely familiar with the 5 stages of grief. Honestly, I think I learned about the stages of grief from some movie. So, when Todd died, I thought my emotions would have this logical ...
Watching TV can be a minefield for widows. I noticed this soon after I lost my husband; we were in the last season of The Sopranos. I could never make myself finish it after his death. But, I kept thinking ...
Remembering the first year after Todd died revives all of its raw, nearly physical pain. That year was a waking nightmare. Sometimes, another widow’s post or comment reminds me of the early weeks and months, and I hurt for her ...
Here we are, in some of the darkest days of the year. I know the days have begun to get incrementally longer since the solstice, but that change seems imperceptible. Cold weather keeps us inside, out of whatever meager, cloud-filtered ...
Since my husband died, I’ve learned that the word “widow” can be a label, as if being a widow is a static condition. It’s deceptively simple and cloaks the fact that each widow is unique and that widowhood and grief ...
I don’t remember October. I think I wished it away because it is the month in which my love died and because it felt like the unofficial start of the holiday season, which I had been dreading. I didn’t even ...
4 months after Todd died, I was talking to a friend who develops websites about starting a blog about my experiences. She was supportive but asked me to consider if I wanted to be defined in the public eye as ...
National Grief Awareness Day reminds us that each of us who has experienced life-changing loss grieves in valid, non-linear, and unique ways. National Grief Awareness Day serves to bring awareness to a world that often prefers to push away uncomfortable ...
How many times have you heard: “You are so strong!”? Or seen memes that compliment a widow’s strength, like this one: “You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have”? I didn’t realize ...