This year, something unexpected happened: I’m actually looking forward to the holidays. After years of greeting the season with a mix of dread, exhaustion, and let’s be honest, a bit of forced cheer, I feel something new—a spark of genuine ...
The first Thanksgiving I spent with Jay, he was not yet my husband. We weren’t even dating. He and his family lived across the street from my grandma, and we had all gathered potluck style. Mostly, he had annoyed me. ...
All moms face weariness, but for a widowed mom, that weariness can be tenfold. When you become a mom, you hear catchy phrases to remind you to take care of yourself, like “an empty cup can't pour out anything” or ...
Tomorrow is Halloween. It was my husband‘s favorite holiday (and Thanksgiving, because of the food). He loved dressing up and putting on a show, he always had. It brought him to life. It’s what he loved so much about being ...
I married my best friend in autumn—two became one. Finding my true love and then tragically losing him literally crushed my heart and weighed down my soul. My deep love for him created this very deep grief that doesn’t go ...
Yesterday marks three years since I have heard my husband’s voice. He had such a gentle, warm and sincere way of communicating with others. I really wish I could just hear him speak to me again. I often imagine what ...
The cashier insisted I bring home two pumpkins and a giant bag of candy after I awkwardly responded to her Halloween inquiry. ‘Uhm, Halloween just....isn't in the cards this year.' A thousand responses had flipped through my mind when she ...
Rejections are a part of any writer's life and as a writer, I've seen my fair share. If I want to basically guarantee a rejection though, all I have to do is submit a piece about widowhood. It doesn't matter ...
One of the most challenging impacts of becoming a widow is having what we defined as our purpose become suddenly changed because it was intertwined with our covenantal relationship with our husband. Our marriage made us one, so our purpose ...
Tonight I ate Popcorners for dinner. I just couldn’t make an another decision and they were sitting in front of my face as I stared into the pantry for the fifth time trying to decide what to have for dinner. ...