The overhead lights in the hallway started flickering again a couple of weeks ago. This hasn’t happened in a while, not a long while. When Rick first died, the ceiling lights in the kitchen started to flicker one night. I ...
So often now, in the midst of happiness, I’ll feel this gloom settle over me. I know right away that it’s not a “random” sadness; it’s definitely Rick-related. I feel those tears just below the surface, a very mild form ...
Sunday afternoons used to be my favorite time of the week. Sunday afternoons on a chilly, gloomy fall day (as much as I HATE the approaching winter) were even better. Right about now, Rick would be ready for a nap. ...
As time moves on, I feel less like a widow, and I begin to wonder how long I’ll still be writing a widow’s blog. But it may be for a little while longer, because even as I continue to pursue ...
Once again, it’s the worst week of the year and I’m trying to make the best of it. My husband died on August 13, 2017. His birthday is August 23rd. The year he died, those 10 days were a fog ...
Making decisions as a widow is exhausting. Already, our emotional stores are spent, and we are physically exhausted from poor sleep. Some decisions are practical ones like checking a bank balance before paying a bill or choosing Raisin Bran over ...
The last thing I was looking forward to was re-entering the dating scene after 20+ years as a married woman. In fact, something Rick used to say came to mind: “I’d rather poke hot needles in my eyes.” And that’s ...
Some days I just don’t want to. I don’t want to leave the house. I don’t want to follow through on obligations or promises. I don’t wanna anymore. When I feel this way, I wish someone would yank me out ...
Rick and I were married on July 12, 1997. He died one month after our twentieth anniversary. This Friday will mark the second time I’ve spent our anniversary alone. In a way, it’s almost the third time, because on our ...