Dave would have turned 57 this week and it’s hard to believe that he’s been gone over 10 years.  In my mind he’ll never age – he’ll always be 46.  I’m grateful and thankful that my body and face will continue aging but it’s kind of strange to think that if I make it to a ripe old age with lines, wrinkles, and silver hair he will always be young in my mind.  

Over the past 10 years, life has moved forward. I have raised our kids to adulthood and feel excited about how their lives are unfolding.  I have found love and remarried my “Chapter Two”, Sean.  And we’re living on the beautiful Oregon coast!

I have good and bad days but I’m happy and content with my life (and believe me there was a chunk of time in my deepest grief that I did not think this was at all even possible).

I did a ton of “work” to get myself to this place. 

  • I asked for help & support (not easy for me at all!)
  • I decided to “feel my feelings” and not use alcohol to numb myself
  • I listened to loads and loads of music because it helped me tap into my emotions
  • I moved my body by walking, stretching, yoga, pilates & dancing

And speaking of music and dancing…

Our song was “Brick House” by The Commodores – not the most romantic song, but hear me out…  

You see, Dave was a musician and played bass guitar in several funk bands around town.  Whenever the band played “Brick House”, the crowd went wild and got their butts on the dance floor – me included!

“Brick House” reminds me of those fun times we had together and whenever it randomly plays on the radio, at a club, wherever…I know it’s a sign from Dave that he is still here and watching over us.  In a weird way, a 70’s funk song and some dancing provides a lot of comfort.

What songs remind you of your love and provide you support?  



Melissa was widowed overnight at the age of 44 when her husband Dave didn’t wake up on a cold Saturday morning in 2011.  As a solo-parent to their two sons, she knew she had to take care of herself first so she could care for her kids - they needed her support more than ever - so she began the work of processing her deep grief and practicing radical self-care to move forward.

Melissa has rebuilt her life and established - for the very first time - a deeper knowledge of herself. She is a testament to trusting her gut and standing behind her choices.  She is happily remarried to her husband, Sean, and they now call the Oregon coast home.  Melissa’s purpose is living a joyful life, inspiring and influencing others.  You can learn more about Melissa, her book Filled With Gold, and other offerings through her website www.filledwithgold.org and follow her on Instagram and Facebook.