Dave would have turned 57 this week and it’s hard to believe that he’s been gone over 10 years.  In my mind he’ll never age – he’ll always be 46.  I’m grateful and thankful that my body and face will continue aging but it’s kind of strange to think that if I make it to a ripe old age with lines, wrinkles, and silver hair he will always be young in my mind.  

Over the past 10 years, life has moved forward. I have raised our kids to adulthood and feel excited about how their lives are unfolding.  I have found love and remarried my “Chapter Two”, Sean.  And we’re living on the beautiful Oregon coast!

I have good and bad days but I’m happy and content with my life (and believe me there was a chunk of time in my deepest grief that I did not think this was at all even possible).

I did a ton of “work” to get myself to this place. 

  • I asked for help & support (not easy for me at all!)
  • I decided to “feel my feelings” and not use alcohol to numb myself
  • I listened to loads and loads of music because it helped me tap into my emotions
  • I moved my body by walking, stretching, yoga, pilates & dancing

And speaking of music and dancing…

Our song was “Brick House” by The Commodores – not the most romantic song, but hear me out…  

You see, Dave was a musician and played bass guitar in several funk bands around town.  Whenever the band played “Brick House”, the crowd went wild and got their butts on the dance floor – me included!

“Brick House” reminds me of those fun times we had together and whenever it randomly plays on the radio, at a club, wherever…I know it’s a sign from Dave that he is still here and watching over us.  In a weird way, a 70’s funk song and some dancing provides a lot of comfort.

What songs remind you of your love and provide you support?