In the moments after Matt died I was faced with more heartache. And in the midst of all that Thanksgiving happened. I was not grateful for anything. As my struggles continued I could not see how I would ever be ...
I’m Not As Strong As You Think I’m not as strong as you think. In fact, inside I always feel weak. I can paste on a smile, And a cheerful tone for a while. I can act and ...
Even the mended pieces of a widow’s broken heart can wince at the dawn of a new Christmas season. The first year is the hardest, but each passing year somehow accentuates the permanence of the absence of his physical presence. ...
Feeling Different When something traumatic happens to you that isn’t commonly experienced by just anyone. When you feel like you had no choice or say in the matter and certainly no control over the outcome. When you realize statistically ...
Add this to the unending list of peeves that plague the widowed: when people refer to our late spouses as exes! Unless you were permanently split up when they passed, these are not our exes. (And for those who were ...
This week I had the opportunity to again attempt to help people understand a widow’s journey- or specifically my journey. I presented at a university’s 15th annual Good Grief conference where this year’s topics featured presenters speaking on mental health ...
Do you ever question who God is? Is God really good? Why does the unthinkable happen? Why do terrible things happen even if we are following God and doing our best to live the way we believe He wants us ...
Second Chance When Matt first died my heart was so broken I didn't think I would try to love again. After a year I thought maybe I could but realized I couldn't. But I took the time to heal ...
Widow Brain When I first heard the term “widow brain,” or "widows fog," I just assumed that widow brain was a difficult experience during only the earliest months of grief. As I have read more about the topic, I’ve ...
The Death Certificate looks like our marriage certificate except our union is split, cleaved from me. I’m choiceless. Onset to death 2.5 hours Treatment given from onset to death 2.5 hours Paramedics arrived at 7:03am Pronounced ...