In the early months and years, I found myself spinning around in a whirlpool of anxiety, fear, sorrow, and depression. In a word, grief. Some days I felt okay, like “I’ve finally got this.” I enjoyed time with friends and ...
Riley, Lizzy, Ashley, Sonney, and JD on a camping trip at Sue-meg State Park. Photo Credit: Penelope Ray, 2008 It was 2008 when we found them. JD and I were particularly broke that year after losing our home in the ...
It's not that I enjoy making people uncomfortable but I can't stop saying your name. To people around me, outside of the bubble, you were a nothing that became a something and are now a nothing again. To ...
TW: Suicide method Very early on, after Bret died, I couldn't dream about him. I couldn't feel his presence at all. I wasn't even sure if I wanted to dream about him--I knew that when I'd wake up the next ...
Cause and effect. A concept that can have deep philosophical roots or a surface level fundamental basis. When something as tremendous as a spouse passing away happens, we often want to point fingers. Why did this happen? Who made this ...
10 Unexpected Things Grief Has Taught Me. 1) People say surprisingly hurtful things to grieving people, even those closest to you. Many will never apologize because they don’t even realize they offended you. 2) You may have been compassionate before ...
I haven't ever stopped wearing my wedding rings. Going on eight years out, I still wear them. Yes, there are two of them: my wedding ring plus another that was a family heirloom he had given me for my part ...
Where does our love go now that our person is gone? My love flows in each hug and kiss from my daughter and grandchildren. Each “Nanny, I love you” fills my heart and spills my love in bubbly, overflowing waves. ...
Car still packed. Hospital bags collecting dust. The half drank Pepsi bottle still in the fridge. That is just a few of the time stamped areas 10 months into one of the most devastating moments of my life. I am ...
I woke up this morning to the sound of my grandchildren whispering, their bare feet padding across wood floors, stopping just short of the bedroom I was in. I’ve landed at Ashley and Micah’s house, my oldest daughter and son-in-law. ...