Yesterday marks three years since I have heard my husband’s voice. He had such a gentle, warm and sincere way of communicating with others. I really wish I could just hear him speak to me again. I often imagine what ...
The cashier insisted I bring home two pumpkins and a giant bag of candy after I awkwardly responded to her Halloween inquiry. ‘Uhm, Halloween just....isn't in the cards this year.' A thousand responses had flipped through my mind when she ...
I short circuit sometimes – when life gets too stressful – to a memory that repeats in haunting fashion. It is the lips of the doctor mouthing the words, “These things happen.” His lips are chapped and peeling. The corners ...
Grief never really gets “better.” Just a few weeks away from 3 years without my precious husband and I really don’t feel “better.” After three years comes the realization for me that there really is no such thing as ...
I still feel married. The dichotomy of this phrase is largely dismissed by widows. Conversely, we pass it around like bread at the dinner table, slathering it with butter and comforting our palates with the way it rolls off our ...
I have believed in God for as long as I can remember. My mother and the church indoctrinated me with visions of the cross, and on Sundays, I trailed behind her with hurried steps while she marched us towards service ...
What do you do when your greatest fear becomes your unexpected reality? Did the unexpected loss make everything in your life feel ever more terrifying? Or did you feel hopeless and depressed and stop caring? This week I am reminded ...
Allowing myself to be happy, after the death of my husband, always felt a little like betrayal. It felt like I was shouting from the highest peaks that life without him was enjoyable, like I didn’t care that he had ...
It hurts intensely just to breath. Everything externally around you or internally within you seems to trigger stabs directly into your heart. You feel gutted out, as if just a shell remains The center of your being feels shattered. A ...
My first grief therapy experience was a disaster – a Freudian approach connecting everything back to sex and my parents that left me feeling more broken and bewildered than when I began. The counseling was shoved in my face about ...