On the 2 Year anniversary of my husband’s passing, I can say with absolute certainty that Year 2 was no better or easier or less painful than Year 1. It was excruciatingly difficult and so, so lonely. But, as widows, we keep going. We keep trying. For me, there is no other choice to make. My husband would be upset with our little family if we stopped living our lives just because his life was taken from him and us.
In his memory, and because it would otherwise be a disgrace to his memory and the life he led, my girls and I continue to move forward and carry all the love we have for him in our hearts, as we go along our own paths, living a life of purpose, passion and integrity. It ain’t always pretty, but he always finds a way to let us know he is still around…when he knows we really need it.
To jog along potholed roads, without you, too.
Where have you gone off to during all this time?
Meandering along a covered path to a place within the ether?
Hiding among the greens of summertime trees to protect us from harm?
Holding on inside the wind’s whispers reminding us of our promises to you?
To forge ahead unchartered, without you, too.
It’s been too long, too short, too painful, too barren
Too angry, too sad, too frustrating, too lost
Too plain, too quiet, too loud, too lonely
Too sleepy, too awake, too haunted, too broken
To chase waterfalls alone, without you, too.
The sky is grayer without your two cobalt eyes cutting through
The nights are darker without your two arms wrapped around a pillow
The air is colder without your two lips pressed to my cheek
The world is just another senseless rock without your two cents being uttered
To remember all you gave to us, who loved you, too.
And still do.