This past week I was at a fair with my sheep. People who knew Matt were there. Telling them I was dating someone was strange but it was still good. One of the women there and I sat and talked and I said I am young I don’t think anyone expected me to stat single forever but some people still seem surprised.
On Friday we got onto the topic of why widowers seem to move on faster. I said well they are men they are used to thier wife taking care of them. One of the ladies mentioned that 60% of men remarry in 2 years or less. That number is only 20% for women I responded that I think the young widows eventually move on but older widows like my grandmother don’t because they had a whole life with thier husband.
Even though I have started dating someone I still don’t fall into that statistics as I was not even close to ready last October. At times I was also jealous of other young widows that moved on. I am glad that I opened myself up to the chance of love again.
At one point I said something about Matt dying and the one women that has not seen me in years went but you are so young. That is the sad fact about society is we only think as widows being old but there are us young ones out there.
Learning to navigate life. Wanting to believe in love after it was ripped from us. Still wanting the happy ever after all the movies told us about. Being far to young to process our husband’s dying.
You look so young. Eventually no one will say that to me but for awhile I expect to hear that. But this chapter is always going to be one that I look back on and realize that it has made me stronger.


Laurel became a young widow on October 2, 2020, her husband Matt had a heart attack he was only 37. Matt was a juvenile diabetic and they always knew he would die young but she never thought that she could be a widow at 32. Navigating grief with anxiety, regrets and guilt have been a struggle for Laurel. They had gotten into a fight days before he died and they had talked about divorce. One of the things that helped her the most is finding other widows who understood the pain she was feeling. In February she decided to start writing her story. Self-care is something else she started to do daily and art has become her outlet to get what she is feeling out which she shares on her Instagram. Being a young widow comes with its own challenges but we are not alone in this journey.
You can find her on Instagram @HealingPorcupine or her personal blog link-