The Last Celebration

Tomorrow (2/21) marks the six-year anniversary of Bret’s Celebration of Life.

I had no idea, I mean, really no idea how I was going to make it through this event.

There are very few memories of having even planned his farewell, bouncing around in my head. Widow fog is real!

All I knew was even in spite of my grief, Bret’s sendoff had to be epic.

It had to be worthy of the man his friends and family knew him to be, and that was a guy who liked to have a good time.

Just a few months prior, one of our closest friends in town had passed tragically.

The town was devastated.

Her name was Deirdre and everyone in town loved her.

Deirdre’s Celebration of Life was beautiful just like she was.

Sadly, it would be the inspiration behind Bret’s only a few months later.

There was a lovely public house/restaurant that we frequented often and it made sense to have it there.

All of our wonderful friends pulled together and made it happen.

That morning I recall waking in a panic that morning because I had no…

…waterproof mascara.

Silly thing to panic about right?

I just knew I couldn’t go through the day of seeing everyone if I looked like a rabid raccoon.

Among some of my only memories of the early part of that day, I recall texting my dad, panicking about my lack of waterproof mascara.

He and my uncle raced to the store and brought back several different tubes.

It made me chuckle to think of them fumbling around in the cosmetics section like that.

I think it might’ve been my first real smile since Bret died.

It wouldn’t be my last though.

The day actually turned out to be, well, wonderful.

Everything had fallen beautifully into place.

Family and friends I hadn’t seen in a long time made the trek to show their love and support.

There were a lot of tears but also a lot of laughs.

During Bret’s severe illness a few years prior, he had made a video montage of things he’d like to be remembered by. In true Bret form, it was accompanied by a rather garish, heavy-metal* song that he felt would be appropriate.

I am not sure if appropriate is the right word, but it was his wish.

The video played, and sure enough, everyone was giggling and smiling. I could feel his presence, laughing and crying with us.

It was the most bittersweet, heartbreaking yet hilarious moment of my life.

I am sure it was the first time I had actually laughed in weeks.

It was perfect.

As perfect as such an event can be, anyway.

Bret, while struggling with his own mental health, had an incredibly healthy view of death and dying.

We believed (I still do) in celebrating the lives of those we lost. They ought to be remembered for more than their deaths.

Mourning and grieving are both necessary, but honoring and celebrating the lives they lead is also incredibly important.

I knew I would be grieving for the rest of my life…so I wanted to celebrate him, the first chance I got.

That event was a giant step toward my own healing.

Although I am far from healed (recent circumstances have shown me how far I have NOT come) I know in my heart of hearts that he would have loved his Celebration of Life.

And someday, when we meet again, a long time off in the future, we can have a nice, celestial laugh about it together.

* I thought about linking the song but I just can’t bring myself to do so – it’s pretty out there – but if you’d like to know, comment and I will share! Make sure you can handle dark humor.

This lovely flyer was designed by a dear friend of ours, J. Stinnet. I am thankful to this day for how beautiful it turned out.

The table that was set up at his viewing. Most of it was at the Celebration as well.

Photo via Etsy

About Layla Beth Munk

Layla Beth Munk is a blogger & author who was thrust into this widowhood journey abruptly and tragically on February 11, 2018. Her husband of 12 years had ended his pain once and for all. She soon made the decision that she would not let his final decision define the rest of her life or their daughter’s life, so with her sense of humor at the helm, she started writing about her newfound station in life. Grief waves still get to her, and probably always will, but with the help of her fellow widows as well as friends and family, she has been able to realize her dream of becoming a published author! Layla is so grateful to Hope For Widows Foundation for providing this level of support to her, and so many others! Layla has two amazing children, one who is grown and one who is almost grown. She lives in eastern Oregon and has a wellness & beauty background. Layla enjoys writing poetry, watching anime, and homeschooling her daughter.

Her blog can be found at laylabethmunk.medium.com and her debut novella, 24 Hours in Vegas, is available on Amazon.