I was once a firm believer in miracles.
But then my life became tumultuous, culminating eventually with my husband unaliving himself.
I had seen him pull through a life-threatening illness. I had seen him rise above multiple personal and legal issues, like a champ.
Miracles were all around us.
My oldest child, days before that monumental 21st birthday, was nearly killed in a should-have-been-fatal accident.
I watched the experts and the doctors be wrong.
I watched the opposite of everything they said was going to happen, happen.
Miracles were all around us.
Then my husband made his very last choice and chose to exit this life one cold, dark February day.
Being the one who found him, I knew he was gone.
But when the police officer in charge of the scene said to me “he’s gone,” I just had to wonder where my miracle was.
As the years passed, the miracles seemed to be scant.
Where had they gone?
Had I reached my lifetime miracle quota?
To be honest, I haven’t seen many in the six years that followed Bret’s death.
Or have I?
Is a miracle not a miracle even if it is a small one? Does it have to be a big, earth-shattering event to be considered miracle status?
Maybe I haven’t had too many big miracles recently. But I have certainly had a nice handful of small miracles.
And yes, even some more monumental ones as well. In my jadedness, I have simply forgotten to see them.
Not so long ago, after much consideration, I decided that although things in my world are far from perfect, my heart is still open to the idea of miracles.
They may be fewer and further between (are they really?) but I see them and for that I am grateful.
I was once a firm believer in miracles.
In fact, I still am.
Image via BingAI
I’ve felt the same way the last few months so I started keeping a “miracles list” where I record the miracles that happen – big and small.
Things like running into a friend at a store after thinking about how much you’d like to see them again or wishing that you could find a specific quote and then discovering it in a notebook that was on your nightstand.
I am really striving to appreciate all the little miracles in the hopes that I will see them more easily!
Btw, I love your writing!
Oh I love this! Thank you for sharing! I have felt the same since my husband passed away unexpectedly. Thank you for sharing that we should look for them.
Thank you for reading and commenting! 🙂