I was once a firm believer in miracles.

But then my life became tumultuous, culminating eventually with my husband unaliving himself.

I had seen him pull through a life-threatening illness. I had seen him rise above multiple personal and legal issues, like a champ.

Miracles were all around us.

My oldest child, days before that monumental 21st birthday, was nearly killed in a should-have-been-fatal accident.

I watched the experts and the doctors be wrong.

I watched the opposite of everything they said was going to happen, happen.

Miracles were all around us.

Then my husband made his very last choice and chose to exit this life one cold, dark February day.

Being the one who found him, I knew he was gone.

But when the police officer in charge of the scene said to me “he’s gone,” I just had to wonder where my miracle was.

As the years passed, the miracles seemed to be scant.

Where had they gone?

Had I reached my lifetime miracle quota?

To be honest, I haven’t seen many in the six years that followed Bret’s death.

Or have I?

Is a miracle not a miracle even if it is a small one? Does it have to be a big, earth-shattering event to be considered miracle status?

Maybe I haven’t had too many big miracles recently. But I have certainly had a nice handful of small miracles.

And yes, even some more monumental ones as well. In my jadedness, I have simply forgotten to see them.

Not so long ago, after much consideration, I decided that although things in my world are far from perfect, my heart is still open to the idea of miracles.

They may be fewer and further between (are they really?) but I see them and for that I am grateful.

I was once a firm believer in miracles.

In fact, I still am.

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Layla Beth Munk

Layla Beth Munk is a blogger & author who was thrust into this widowhood journey abruptly and tragically on February 11, 2018. Her husband of 12 years had ended his pain once and for all. She soon made the decision that she would not let his final decision define the rest of her life or their daughter’s life, so with her sense of humor at the helm, she started writing about her newfound station in life. Grief waves still get to her, and probably always will, but with the help of her fellow widows as well as friends and family, she has been able to realize her dream of becoming a published author! Layla is so grateful to Hope For Widows Foundation for providing this level of support to her, and so many others! Layla has two amazing children, one who is grown and one who is almost grown. She lives in eastern Oregon and has a wellness & beauty background. Layla enjoys writing poetry, watching anime, and homeschooling her daughter. Her blog can be found at laylabethmunk.medium.com and her debut novella, 24 Hours in Vegas, is available on Amazon.

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