Trigger Warning: Suicide; Death by Suicide; Bullying.
Everyone has an opinion about celebrity suicides – and they can be quite hurtful.
As someone who was widowed by suicide, please allow me to explain just how traumatizing all the different opinions on this sensitive topic can be.
When someone unalives themselves, far too many people find some kind of sick comfort in blaming that person’s spouse. Or at the very least, they openly question the spouse’s involvement.
I’m not a celebrity, but I experienced this when one former family member went on to accuse me of being behind Bret’s self-imposed demise.
In my time (nearly seven years now) as a widow, I have seen others in my same boat deal with similar accusations.
And even if the accusation isn’t there, people still love to voice their opinions about the tragic situation.
This is especially true in pop culture, where opinions on everything a celebrity does run rampant like a wild stampede of out-of-control zombies.
The suicide of Linkin Park singer Chester Bennington on July 20, 2017, was one that hit the masses hard.
I personally recall SiriusXM DJ, Jose Mangin being so beside himself that he could barely do his job that day.
Everyone was shattered.
Recently, Linkin Park has been back in the headlines again as they have released new material – with a new singer.
There is a whole big group of fans that aren’t happy about this though.
“They replaced Chester! How could they?”
“How dare they move on without him?”
Look friends, I’m about to drop a truth bomb that might not be a popular way of looking at this – but Chester is gone. And many bands that have lost members continue on with great success.
Look at classic rock band AC/DC.
Singer Bon Scott passed away tragically in 1980. Later that year, Brian Johnson joined the band and they went on to enjoy much success over the years – with an incredibly loving and supportive fan base.
Linkin Park hasn’t been that lucky.
The brutal comments about how Linkin Park is disloyal to Chester’s memory because they dared to move forward have been enough for me to sometimes unfollow or even block certain people and music pages from my social media newsfeeds.
If there were promises made to Chester’s family when he passed, and now those are being disregarded, I can understand some of the rage. But I can’t understand it if they are simply trying to move forward with their own healing and their own careers and lives.
Add in the accusations and conspiracy theories about Chester’s death and I promise you, it’s enough to make your head spin.
Music has always been a huge part of my life – Bret was a musician and so is our daughter. I was even named after a song, for goodness sake! (Our daughter’s name is also after both the car and the band of the same name – Chevelle.)
I have always looked to music to help me deal with things, and healing from Bret’s death has been no different. So I take all of these ignorant and insensitive opinions on the Linkin Park situation personally.
It’s like I’ve said a million times, and I’ll probably say it a million times more – everyone has an opinion for widows, and they’re never ever afraid to let these opinions be known – no matter who they hurt.
I get it – suicide is a tough thing to accept. Believe me, I know the feeling of disbelief and unacceptance very well.
But there comes a time when we have to move forward. (NOT move on – these are two totally different things.)
We move forward in their honor.
We lead lives that they would be proud of.
We advocate mental health awareness – and we don’t contribute to the growing epidemic of things like bullying which often leads to suicide.
People are always free to think what they want, but when dealing with those of us left behind after a suicide, I would encourage people to really think twice before they say ugly things.
There are better ways to deal with your grief.
If you are feeling hopeless, please dial 988. Your story isn’t over.
About Layla Beth Munk
Layla Beth Munk is a blogger & author who was thrust into this widowhood journey abruptly and tragically on February 11, 2018. Her husband of 12 years had ended his pain once and for all. She soon made the decision that she would not let his final decision define the rest of her life or their daughter’s life, so with her sense of humor at the helm, she started writing about her newfound station in life. Grief waves still get to her, and probably always will, but with the help of her fellow widows as well as friends and family, she has been able to realize her dream of becoming a published author! Layla is so grateful to Hope For Widows Foundation for providing this level of support to her, and so many others! Layla has two amazing children, one who is grown and one who is almost grown. She lives in eastern Oregon and has a wellness & beauty background. Layla enjoys writing poetry, watching anime, and homeschooling her daughter.
Her blog can be found at laylabethmunk.medium.com and her debut novella, 24 Hours in Vegas, is available on Amazon.
I was widowed by suicide as well. this was very accurately and gently written. thank you so much. moving forward is the constant themecI remind myself and my 8 children. it is a difficult challenge these past 18 months. I hope & pray I have the same endurance, positive attitude and strength that you have written about.
Take care!!
Thank you for commenting, Jennifer! 8 children! Girl, you’re supermom! Sending big hugs to ALL of you! 🙂