To our non-widowed, coupled friends – please read:
I hate that this is even a thing, but every so often, it needs to be said.
Your husband goes hunting and is gone for a few days…that does not make you a “hunting” widow.
Your husband watches football or any other sport incessantly…that does not make you a “football” widow.
If your husband/spouse travels often or is gone for any length of time, this does not qualify you as a widow.
Let me explain what being a widow actually entails:
- Your spouse/life partner – the one you planned to spend the rest of your life with – is there one minute, but gone the next. Like, gone-GONE. Not coming back after a long weekend with the boys. Gone FOREVER.
- Brain fog, confusion, anger, other emotions, and experiences become the norm for you. You may be fine one second, then madder than a hornet only moments later. You might forget something basic, like why you stood up to walk into the next room. Tears may fall at a random thought entering your mind, or because of something as commonplace as a television commercial. (It may not even be a sad one; it doesn’t even have to be.)
- You have to do everything on your own now, including being the one financially responsible for everything, all the time. You pay the bills now. You fix the car when it breaks down. This is ongoing. He’s not coming back to help. You must do it on your own. Maybe you have outside help, but maybe you don’t; either way, it won’t be your husband doing it anymore.
These are just a few of the things that widows deal with, and they are permanent. They’re not for a weekend, not for a day. This is how life is now.
So please, out of respect for a widowed friend or family member, stop adding the word “widow” to the activities that might steal your spouse away from you for an evening or two. Consider yourself lucky that you have a husband to even miss in the first place.
Because at least yours is coming back.
Ours aren’t.
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Image via BipolarChristianWidow/Facebook.
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Support Widows This Holiday Season!
As we approach the holidays, the Hope for Widows Foundation is seeking sponsors for our annual Bring Hope Holiday Program. This initiative supports widows facing financial challenges, helping them provide gifts and essentials for their children during this special time of year.
Widows: If you are seeking support this holiday season, applications are open now through November 22 — we are here for you.
Sponsors: Want to make a difference? Become a sponsor and bring hope to a widow’s family this holiday season. Sponsor applications are open through December 12. Every contribution, big or small, helps spread joy and light.
To apply or to sign up as a sponsor, visit: https://linktr.ee/hopeforwidows
Let’s make this season brighter together!
About Layla Beth Munk
Layla Beth Munk is a blogger & author who was thrust into this widowhood journey abruptly and tragically on February 11, 2018. Her husband of 12 years had ended his pain once and for all. She soon made the decision that she would not let his final decision define the rest of her life or their daughter’s life, so with her sense of humor at the helm, she started writing about her newfound station in life. Grief waves still get to her, and probably always will, but with the help of her fellow widows as well as friends and family, she has been able to realize her dream of becoming a published author! Layla is so grateful to Hope For Widows Foundation for providing this level of support to her, and so many others! Layla has two amazing children, one who is grown and one who is almost grown. She lives in eastern Oregon and has a wellness & beauty background. Layla enjoys writing poetry, watching anime, and homeschooling her daughter.
Her blog can be found at laylabethmunk.medium.com and her debut novella, 24 Hours in Vegas, is available on Amazon.