Pour it out…We all need those people in our lives that are there to support and love us in our deepest darkest moments. Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day and I refuse to be sad about not having my love this year. Instead, I am going to be grateful for the women in my life that I would include in a Pour it out, night with.
If you don’t watch Sweet Magnolias you are probably wondering what a pour it out night is. Basically, it is friends coming together to have margaritas together and just talk about things going on in their lives. There are four women in my life that when I am having a good time or bad I know will be there for me.
Amanda, Chelsea, and Christina texted me and checked in when Matt died. They are the ones that understand that it is going to be a while before I am healed. Amanda and Christina worked with me and we hit it off and remained friends even after we moved on to better jobs. Chelsea was my roommate sophomore year of college we became friends by chance and sisters by choice.
After Matt died and I went into that depression that I hated. Chelsea texted me I love you often. And I needed that. I knew that there were people that loved me and needed me to survive but it helped me to remember that. When I just could not snap out of it over the summer she told me to come home to Maine. And in a way, we had a pour it out week.
Amanda and Christina are my local friends that I have dinner with or can put in our group chat I hate everyone and they are most likely to ask who they have to kill for me. Christina dragged me out of the house in those first few months inviting me to gatherings reminding me there was a life to live. This week we realized we are like the Sweat Magnolias and all we need is pour it out nights to complete it.
Pour it out…Have those people that you can say I miss him and I hate it. Instead of thinking but it has been over a year how are you not over it. Understand that widowhood is a long journey to healing. They support you and tell you that you are loved.
Pour it out…Widowhood is not a journey to take alone. When the darkness starts to consume you have a person to pull you out is amazing. Sitting in my car losing it after planning Matts’s memorial service I called Amanda. Her first reaction was where are you I can come to get you. I needed that more than I knew at the time.
Pour it out…Superbowl Sunday makes me think of Matt he always made this dip. God, I can’t think of what was in it or how it was made. But he is with me. Because I have my pour-it-out women I can handle watching the game because I know if I get sad they will understand and pull me out of the darkness.
Pour it out… I had an anxiety attack at work this week. Normally that would leave me spiraling out of control. Amanda had been messaging about how Christina and I were her pour-it-out friends. We all agreed that we need to have dinner soon. They are going to help me pick paint colors. I had something to look forward to so I was okay.
Without these amazing strong women in my life, I would not be doing as well as I am doing. If you have your pour it out friends make sure they know how much you appreciate them. Tell them what kind of support you need. When you need them around or when you need space.
About Laurel Snook
Laurel became a young widow on October 2, 2020, her husband Matt had a heart attack he was only 37. Matt was a juvenile diabetic and they always knew he would die young but she never thought that she could be a widow at 32. Navigating grief with anxiety, regrets and guilt have been a struggle for Laurel. They had gotten into a fight days before he died and they had talked about divorce. One of the things that helped her the most is finding other widows who understood the pain she was feeling. In February she decided to start writing her story. Self-care is something else she started to do daily and art has become her outlet to get what she is feeling out which she shares on her Instagram. Being a young widow comes with its own challenges but we are not alone in this journey.
You can find her on Instagram @HealingPorcupine or her personal blog link- Healingporcupine.com.