Everything falls on our shoulders when we are widowed which means spoiling ourselves a little should as well.

Or at the absolute bare minimum, self-care must become a huge priority in our lives.

I have always been someone who has worked hard to take care of myself, although there have certainly been times when I could have done better. One such time was after having become widowed.

I knew though, that I needed to start taking care of myself again – after all, I was now the only parent of a ten-year-old girl.

It’s far too easy to just give up when you’re eyeball-deep in grief, so coming back to the land of the living can be difficult at first.

However, when the fog starts to lift a little, and you feel up to it, please remember to treat yourself.

Early on, when family had come to stay with me, our coffee maker decided to quit on us. So, my folks went to the local Dutch Bros coffee shop and ordered large containers of delicious coffee with a spigot, that could last us a few days at a time.

I did not immediately go back to a regular coffee pot once I started feeling human again; I felt worthy of the little extra treat of Dutch Bros coffee, on demand, in my refrigerator for a time.

It made my life easier and it offered comfort – both of those things are beyond valuable to the bereaved.

Budgets and finances often take a big hit after the death of a spouse – which happened to me – so buying the boujee coffee isn’t always an option.

There are other things you can do to treat yourself when money is tight.

Thrift shopping and antiquing can be quite fun and might offer up a comforting trip down memory lane.

Dollar stores often have things like candles, cute mugs and wine glasses, slippers, sleeping masks, etc.

For around $5 you can lift your spirits while you move through your grief.

Beauty schools and massage colleges are a great and often reasonably priced way to partake in a spa day, as well.

My youngest daughter and I even went on a vacation a little over a year later, and I’m so glad we did because I certainly couldn’t afford it right now, and it did a lot to help facilitate our healing.

I don’t regret it at all, even though it cost a bit more than I should have been spending, but you know what?

I treated myself (and my daughter) and that was what was important.

If one has the means, I absolutely recommend traveling during your healing. It was very cathartic for me.

Becoming widowed rips the rug right out from under our feet, and we feel like we’ve lost everything.

It’s important to remind ourselves that we are still of this world; we’re still alive and we’re worthy.

Additionally, we know just how short life is.

So buy the shoes. Eat the cake. Take the trip.

Treat yourself.

Graphic via Dreamstime.com


Layla Beth Munk is a blogger & author who was thrust into this widowhood journey abruptly and tragically on February 11, 2018. Her husband of 12 years had ended his pain once and for all. She soon made the decision that she would not let his final decision define the rest of her life or their daughter’s life, so with her sense of humor at the helm, she started writing about her newfound station in life. Grief waves still get to her, and probably always will, but with the help of her fellow widows as well as friends and family, she has been able to realize her dream of becoming a published author! Layla is so grateful to Hope For Widows Foundation for providing this level of support to her, and so many others! Layla has two amazing children, one who is grown and one who is almost grown. She lives in eastern Oregon and has a wellness & beauty background. Layla enjoys writing poetry, watching anime, and homeschooling her daughter.

Her blog can be found at laylabethmunk.medium.com and her debut novella, 24 Hours in Vegas, is available on Amazon.