This is just as much a reminder to myself as it is to anyone else who may benefit.

As of yesterday, it was six years since I joined this sad little club of ours.

It hit me so much harder this year than in years past, maybe even ever.

One of the reasons why it was so tough, is because I have been in a big, giant pit of despair over how so many things have just tanked in my life since Bret died.

It is a combination of grief that is still there – and probably always will be – and just plain disillusionment.

I am hyper-focused on all of my failures.

Pick yourself back up, Layla. You’ve been low before.

Reflect on your blessings. Appreciate your victories.

My internal dialogue is forever in cheerleader mode trying to encourage me to practice what I preach.

So, I sat with my grief, my despondency.

And although I didn’t feel better – not sure I do even now – I was reminded that the only way out of this funk is through it.

I will sit with these feelings and I will allow them to do their little dance in my brain.

It’s okay to feel overwhelmed by them, I tell myself.

And then when the sun rises tomorrow, I will assess and see where I am.

I will do this until this particular dark spot has passed once more.

Then I will have made it through yet another one of these annoying little depressive pockets of time.

If nothing else, this episode has shown me a few things that I need to change.

I just need to get the motivation to make these moves.

And I will.

I always do.

Just not today.

And that’s okay too.

Images via BlinkiesCafe & Quora
Quote by Robert Frost
Quirky little rhyme by me

About 

Layla Beth Munk is a blogger & author who was thrust into this widowhood journey abruptly and tragically on February 11, 2018. Her husband of 12 years had ended his pain once and for all. She soon made the decision that she would not let his final decision define the rest of her life or their daughter’s life, so with her sense of humor at the helm, she started writing about her newfound station in life. Grief waves still get to her, and probably always will, but with the help of her fellow widows as well as friends and family, she has been able to realize her dream of becoming a published author! Layla is so grateful to Hope For Widows Foundation for providing this level of support to her, and so many others! Layla has two amazing children, one who is grown and one who is almost grown. She lives in eastern Oregon and has a wellness & beauty background. Layla enjoys writing poetry, watching anime, and homeschooling her daughter.

Her blog can be found at laylabethmunk.medium.com and her debut novella, 24 Hours in Vegas, is available on Amazon.

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Layla Beth Munk

Layla Beth Munk is a blogger & author who was thrust into this widowhood journey abruptly and tragically on February 11, 2018. Her husband of 12 years had ended his pain once and for all. She soon made the decision that she would not let his final decision define the rest of her life or their daughter’s life, so with her sense of humor at the helm, she started writing about her newfound station in life. Grief waves still get to her, and probably always will, but with the help of her fellow widows as well as friends and family, she has been able to realize her dream of becoming a published author! Layla is so grateful to Hope For Widows Foundation for providing this level of support to her, and so many others! Layla has two amazing children, one who is grown and one who is almost grown. She lives in eastern Oregon and has a wellness & beauty background. Layla enjoys writing poetry, watching anime, and homeschooling her daughter. Her blog can be found at laylabethmunk.medium.com and her debut novella, 24 Hours in Vegas, is available on Amazon.

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