Bret’s “angelversary” snuck up on me this year.
At first, that shocked me. But then I realized that it has been nearly a decade, so maybe I shouldn’t be quite so shocked after all.
A lot of time has passed, which has helped confirm for me that, in fact, time does truly heal all wounds.
I’m not saying that I am now or will ever be fully healed from him, so violently removing himself from the mortal realm. I am saying, though, that the wound is a lot less painful now.
Like all scars, there are still areas that are more tender and sensitive. But there are also numb spots, too.
And I am okay with that.
The numbness means the pain is gone, and I am so glad it is.
February 11, 2018, was the most painful day of my life, and I never want to feel that again.
Death is a part of life, so I know that I will experience grief again. I have already experienced new grief since he’s been gone.
But that searing, vicious, twisting pain I felt for months following his death is diminished now.
I can face his death date without nervousness or apprehension; I didn’t even realize it was upon me this year.
After eight years, I am a new person with new memories. Bret is still in my memories, of course. It’s not like I’ll ever forget him. He’s just stored safely away, in a deeper place in my heart now.
It’s a place that doesn’t hurt so much when I access it. And after all this time, I don’t always need to access it.
I had prayed he’d found peace, immediately after he left us.
It just took me a little longer to find mine.
In loving memory ~ Bret Aaron Munk
11/10/1970 – 2/11/2018
Image via ChatGPT
About Layla Beth Munk
Layla Beth Munk is a blogger & author who was thrust into this widowhood journey abruptly and tragically on February 11, 2018. Her husband of 12 years had ended his pain once and for all. She soon made the decision that she would not let his final decision define the rest of her life or their daughter’s life, so with her sense of humor at the helm, she started writing about her newfound station in life. Grief waves still get to her, and probably always will, but with the help of her fellow widows as well as friends and family, she has been able to realize her dream of becoming a published author! Layla is so grateful to Hope For Widows Foundation for providing this level of support to her, and so many others! Layla has two amazing children, one who is grown and one who is almost grown. She lives in eastern Oregon and has a wellness & beauty background. Layla enjoys writing poetry, watching anime, and homeschooling her daughter.
Her blog can be found at laylabethmunk.medium.com and her debut novella, 24 Hours in Vegas, is available on Amazon.