I may have grown up an only child, but for most of my life, I have spent very little time completely alone – even as a widow.

A few weeks ago, after taking my eldest, now-grown child to Portland for a big surgery, I spent a few nights by myself in a hotel, and let me tell you, I recommend everyone do something like this at least once.

I love being with my family. I even love being at my job, which gets insane sometimes.

But I have rarely dined out alone. I had never stayed alone in a hotel – well, I had one other time, but that was a “tragic”, 🙄 romantic (now laughable) failure of an evening and not a planned event like this.

This turned into a full-on reset for my soul.

Of course I missed my children; I missed my pets. This was only a little three-night thing, though. And even though I always get nervous when a loved one has to go under the knife, this trip did wonders for me.

During my first full day alone, I walked around downtown Portland, near and around places I hadn’t been since I was a teenager. It was a stunningly beautiful day, and Portland in the sunshine is fantastic.

I met up with a friend for a sweet coffee date, then after a goodnight visit to my patient at OHSU, I went to the little pizza shop not 30 feet from my hotel and had my dinner with a nice cocktail.

A little old lady with a walker was seated near me and asked if I had any parmesan cheese. I walked it over to her, and she asked if I had salt and pepper. I didn’t, but I went to the bar and asked for some. I might’ve been an off-duty server, but I’m still a server in my heart. We had a nice little conversation before I went back to my room and slept like a baby.

I’ve heard advice about getting comfortable with being your own company, and I always assumed I was all set in that department. The true test was being alone, in a (somewhat) unfamiliar place, depending only on myself, making every decision on my own.

It was sublime.

My patient is now home healing, and I’ve been back to my normal schedule for a little while now, but I’m grateful for the experience I had.

My life is certainly fuller and better with my family, my loved ones with me – but a little solitude did me a world of good.

Highly recommended.

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Part of the lovely PDX skyline at night. 🌃

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It even inspired a poem. Go figure. 😉

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Layla Beth Munk

Layla Beth Munk is a blogger & author who was thrust into this widowhood journey abruptly and tragically on February 11, 2018. Her husband of 12 years had ended his pain once and for all. She soon made the decision that she would not let his final decision define the rest of her life or their daughter’s life, so with her sense of humor at the helm, she started writing about her newfound station in life. Grief waves still get to her, and probably always will, but with the help of her fellow widows as well as friends and family, she has been able to realize her dream of becoming a published author! Layla is so grateful to Hope For Widows Foundation for providing this level of support to her, and so many others! Layla has two amazing children, one who is grown and one who is almost grown. She lives in eastern Oregon and has a wellness & beauty background. Layla enjoys writing poetry, watching anime, and homeschooling her daughter. Her blog can be found at laylabethmunk.medium.com and her debut novella, 24 Hours in Vegas, is available on Amazon.

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