A sense of humor has been a huge part of my personality since I was a child. My favorite relatives, teachers, friends and more have been the ones that could easily make me laugh.
Needless to say, my love of humor became a big part of what I looked for in a romantic partner. And of course, in spite of my late husband’s many demons, he had a terrific sense of humor.
So throughout all the heartache his death created, I have strived to face my grief with my sense of humor intact. Believe me, I understand it’s not an easy thing to do.
I respect that not everyone chooses to address grief in this way. For me, however, there was really no other way to deal with my sadness.
Bret’s celebration of life was held at a local pub/restaurant and with a very casual vibe. Due to health problems some years back, he had prepared a video to be played at his final services.
It was set to a heavy metal song (Bret was a guitarist who had once been quite known in the Texas metal scene) and many of the photos selected would probably not have been appropriate in the traditional church funeral setting.
I had promised him that I would have that video shown should I outlive him, and I proudly kept that promise.
I decided to face that day celebrating him with humor and laughter, knowing that grief and sadness would overpower me in days and months to come. That attitude helped me to laugh during the celebration if I felt so inclined, and encourage others to do the same.
Over the years, I have tried to maintain that same attitude, but it hasn’t always been easy when dealing with all the varying stages of grief. But just as I allow myself the freedom to laugh and utilize humor, I have done the same with all of my other emotions. (And it’s absolutely important to address and feel them all!)
When his first birthday came around following his death, I combined humor with another one of my coping mechanisms, which is poetry.
I penned this little rhyme, and share it every year on his birthday. (Feel free to save and share if it resonates!)
Humor is one of my coping mechanisms, but not the only one. I have also written many other poems about my grief, but in a much more serious tone.
I strongly encourage people to tap into their own senses of humor in moments of sadness, because for whatever reason, laughter truly is the best medicine.
It got me through two pregnancies and natural childbirths. It got me through my oldest child almost dying in a horrible accident. It got me through countless breakups (and helped propel me into my current relationship.) It has gotten me through my own medical concerns, and other situations.
And it is getting me through my grief as well.