Humor Helps

The topic of humor is one that I have a lot of experience addressing.

Not just in my widowhood circles, but in my everyday life as well.

I was kind of a weird little Wednesday Addams sort of kid and if you could make me laugh, you were a-okay in my book.

Suffice it to say, though, in those first few moments, or maybe even days – who can remember – after Bret’s death, I felt like I might never laugh again.

I know I started to feel a little more like laughing once in a while around the time of his Celebration of Life, and I suppose it just started coming back to me bit by bit, after that.

There were some days when close friends would come by my house and we would end up having so many laughs that I had to stop and remember that I had recently been devastated.

And then, of course, there were (and still are) those unpredictable little Grief Waves.

Some days were down, but some were up.

And that’s how it’s been ever since.

But the one constant in all of that has been humor.

I belong to a few widow-humor groups and some of them are more inappropriate than others, but I love them just the same.

Dark humor is something I’ve always enjoyed and I can honestly say it has helped me immensely.

I get that it’s not for everyone, but if you are someone who can snicker at some off-color jokes, just know you’re not alone.

There are multitudes of us.

Humor doesn’t have to be dark to be helpful though. (Thank goodness!)

It is my personal belief that if you are open to having a good laugh, you deserve to have said laugh.

And no one should be shamed for trying to add a little humor to their lives, especially when that life has been turned upside down by tragedy.

I’ve seen widows come down on other widows for making small jokes and all I can think when that happens is “Gee, I’m glad they haven’t heard some of the things I’ve said!”

We’re all very different creatures, and that’s great, but that means that some of us are going to laugh through our tears, and some are not.

Neither way is wrong.

But as someone who has spent the better part of nearly two decades in some kind of depths of despair, I stand by my humor recommendation.

Laughter has lifted me up when nothing else could, and I plan to keep offering it up as a possible helpful way of dealing with grief.

And yes, I know there’s a time and place for everything, and maybe in some instances, humor isn’t appropriate.

In those times, I will wait until I am by myself and then if I feel like laughing, I’m gonna laugh until it hurts.

I’m a widow.

My person was taken from me.

I won’t let my sense of humor be taken from me as well. — The Snarky Widow

*Photos via Google/Pinterest*

Save the dates! Join us for the 2024 Widows of Hope 5K, taking place May 10-12! This annual initiative encourages activity while raising awareness for the 245 million widowed women worldwide and honoring loved ones. Additionally, May 3rd, National Widows Day, when we’ll reopen applications for our Restoring Hope and Peace Grant. Learn more here: https://hopeforwidows.org/grant/ and continue to look out on all our social media platforms for updates.

About Layla Beth Munk

Layla Beth Munk is a blogger & author who was thrust into this widowhood journey abruptly and tragically on February 11, 2018. Her husband of 12 years had ended his pain once and for all. She soon made the decision that she would not let his final decision define the rest of her life or their daughter’s life, so with her sense of humor at the helm, she started writing about her newfound station in life. Grief waves still get to her, and probably always will, but with the help of her fellow widows as well as friends and family, she has been able to realize her dream of becoming a published author! Layla is so grateful to Hope For Widows Foundation for providing this level of support to her, and so many others! Layla has two amazing children, one who is grown and one who is almost grown. She lives in eastern Oregon and has a wellness & beauty background. Layla enjoys writing poetry, watching anime, and homeschooling her daughter.

Her blog can be found at laylabethmunk.medium.com and her debut novella, 24 Hours in Vegas, is available on Amazon.