I came across a post I’d shared on Facebook on this day, just shy of three months after Bret left this life. Things still felt surreal as I clung to the remnants of what had been.

We’d been together nearly twelve years, spending very little time apart within that period, so his absence felt like a missing limb.

All I wanted to do was remain as close to who I’d been with him as I could. I didn’t want any of that identity to disappear, as if hanging on like that might somehow bring him closer to me.

Years passed.

Not days, weeks, or months.

Years.

Sure, life has a way of bringing change whether you want it or not, but deep in my mind, I was still the Layla of Bret & Layla.

It wasn’t until I was able to just be regular old Layla again that things started to shift.

Seeing that memory today, I could still feel my pain. I could instantly recall the lost feeling I would end up experiencing for years to come. And to add more salt to those past wounds, I had to admit that I don’t really feel that way anymore.

Sure, sometimes I do. Bret had a way of truly coaxing out the best in people. He absolutely brought out parts of me that I am glad I have now.

But as I have written about before, he also took things away, and getting those pieces back has been one of the biggest blessings of my life.

Honestly, what’s left is the best of both worlds, which is great. But it came at a cost.

I had to lose him in order to get here, and I hate that.

I wish this me would have been good enough for him; I wish he’d had the chance to know me like this.

Wishing doesn’t do us much good, though, so being proud of how far I’ve come will have to suffice.

Mark your calendars! The Hope For Widows Foundation’s annual virtual Widows of Hope 5K is back! Join us virtually from Friday, May 8, through Sunday, May 10, 2026. This event is open to all—whether you’re a widow, widower, a friend or family member showing support, or participating in honor of a loved one or cause. Your involvement makes a real difference, with all proceeds directly benefiting widows through our Restoring Hope and Peace Grants, Sunshine Boxes program, and Bring Hope Holiday Assistance Program.  To register, support and find FAQs here: https://linktr.ee/hopeforwidows  + Sponsorship opportunities are available! If you or a business you know would like to support, we’d love to connect. Go here: https://hopeforwidows.org/5k-sponsorship/

 

 

 

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Layla Beth Munk

Layla Beth Munk is a blogger & author who was thrust into this widowhood journey abruptly and tragically on February 11, 2018. Her husband of 12 years had ended his pain once and for all. She soon made the decision that she would not let his final decision define the rest of her life or their daughter’s life, so with her sense of humor at the helm, she started writing about her newfound station in life. Grief waves still get to her, and probably always will, but with the help of her fellow widows as well as friends and family, she has been able to realize her dream of becoming a published author! Layla is so grateful to Hope For Widows Foundation for providing this level of support to her, and so many others! Layla has two amazing children, one who is grown and one who is almost grown. She lives in eastern Oregon and has a wellness & beauty background. Layla enjoys writing poetry, watching anime, and homeschooling her daughter. Her blog can be found at laylabethmunk.medium.com and her debut novella, 24 Hours in Vegas, is available on Amazon.

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